T'was The Night Before Christmas....Hazzard Style
Adaptation by Lisa Philbrick
T'was the night before Christmas,
And all through the jail,
Not a soul was behind bars,
Not a dollar's worth of bail,
The stockings were hung around Boss's office door with care,
In hopes that St. Nick would soon be there (with money!),
The deputies were all home, snug in their beds,
While visions of speed trap bounty danced in their heads.
MaryAnne with her jacket and I with my hat,
Had just settle down, to sneak a snoozin' nap,
When out on the front lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the booking desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, nearly stepping on Flash (sorry!)
I lifted the blinds and threw back the sash
The moon on the chrome of Boss's Caddy
Gave the luster of mid-day to the Fury's and Paddy (Wagon if we had one LOL)
When, what to my wonderin' eyes should there be,
Bo and Luke Duke and their car, the General Lee.
The two drivers, so lively and quick,
Paused for only a moment, next to Maverick,
More rapid than race cars, their coursers they came,
And they whistled and shouted and called us by name
"Hey Rosco! MaryAnne! Hey Bandit and Flash!
We'd call for Boss but he'd only come if we had cash!
From the border of Chickasaw! to the old town hall!
We come with gifts! courtesy of the local mall!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So around the town square, the cousins they flew
With a Charger full of toys and the Duke boys too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard like wind in the wire,
the screeching and peeling of each little tire.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
In through the doors, the Duke boys came with a bound.
Bo was dressed in yellow, Luke in plaid,
And their clothes were no different from what they had always had;
A sack full of goodies was flung on their backs,
And they looked like peddlers just opening their packs.
They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
They saw me watching, and they both flashed a grin,
Then ran out the door, inviting me to chase them again
They sprang to their car, the Dixie horn gave a "whistle"
And away they raced like the down of a thistle
But I heard them exclaim as they roared out of sight
"Happy Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!"