This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any actual resemblance to persons or historical persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The Dukes of Hazzard characters, settings, locales, ect. are owned by other entities who have not endorsed this fic nor have they given express permission for the character's use. Author makes not claims to these characters and is not making any profit from their use.
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© Copyright: 1996-2004. Lisa Philbrick
The Dukes of Hazzard
No More Chances
Rosco's concern for MaryAnne's safety only serves to ignite a near civil war between the Coltrane cousins.
It was late in the morning and the Duke boys were headin' to town to see Cooter, who they knew would be surprise that they were comin' to pay some of what they owed him for the many times he had fixed the General. Despite not having much, when a Duke says they're gonna pay a debt, they pay it.
Behind the wheel, Luke Duke smiled. "I still say we're gonna need the smelling salts after we tell him how much we're paying him."
Bo laughed. "Well, it is about time we paid him something, and with fixin' two fences last week and the good crop we had, we can afford this much."
"That's true, cousin. Uncle Jesse is sure proud of the crop this year. I think it's the best we've ever had."
"It be nice if next year turns out just as good."
As they drove into town, they spotted the three patrol cars of the Hazzard County Sheriff's department parked every wich way infront of the electronics store. The gumballs were all flashing and Rosco, Enos and MaryAnne, were talking to each other and to folks on the sidewalk.
"Wonder what's goin' here?" Luke said. He brought the General to a stop by one of the patrol cars as the crowd dispersed and just as Rosco and MaryAnne were coming around the back side of the patrol car.
"...sure you're okay?" Rosco asked.
"For Pete's sake, Rosco, you've asked me that question fifty times in the last five minutes. I'm fine. I was only pushed to the ground. The only thing hurt is the threads of my uniform, which I'm gonna have to have dry cleaned AGAIN."
"You guys alright?" Luke asked. "What happened?"
"Oh two people just robbed the electonics store," MaryAnne said.
"You're kiddin'!" Bo exclaimed. "Well, which way did they go?"
"It's now use now, they've gotten away," MaryAnne replied. "When they came out of the store, Rosco, Enos and I were there waiting and one of them pushed me to the ground in their getaway. Now, I can't convince Rosco here that I'm okay. I mean, sheesh, I'm in one piece ain't I?"
"Well, that coulda been horrendous," Rosco said. "I mean, they had guns."
MaryAnne rolled her eyes. "Like I said, I'm in one piece."
The boys chuckled. "Well, as long as y'all are alright," Luke said.
"We're fine. Thanks, Luke," MaryAnne said and smiled.
Luke returned the smile. "No problem. We'll see y'all later."
MaryAnne waved as the General drove away towards Cooter's garage.
* * *
"Between the three of you, you couldn't stop TWO crooks?!?" Boss roared. The members of the Hazzard County Sheriff's Department were standing in the middle of the booking room and all flinched, even though they all knew that this chewing out would be coming.
Rosco was wringing his hat in his hands. "Well, you see, Boss, they got the jump on us..."
"Da da da da!! Hush, I don't wanna hear it. You better hope the state police or SOMEBODY spots that getaway car, or every piece of electronics that was stolen from that store is coming out of they pay of the three of you!" He then looked at MaryAnne. "And I'm very disappointed in you, MaryAnne. I had figured you had more police smarts in your pinky finger than these two have combined."
"Boss, look I--"
"Hush. Now, I want the three of you to get out there and try to find that getaway car and those two crooks and all my electronics. And I don't want to see your faces unless you have a crook cuffed to ya. Do I make myself clear?"
The three officers nodded silently. Boss placed his cigar in his mouth and turned and went into his office.
MaryAnne turned to Rosco and Enos. "Well, let's go," she muttered. "I refuse to have my tail whooped and I won't accept not capturing them two."
"Uh, you two go on ahead. I'm gonna try to talk to Boss," Rosco said.
MaryAnne snorted. "Good luck. Come on, Enos."
Rosco watched them leave the booking room and he paused a moment.
What ol' Rosco had to ask Boss did have to do with what had happened, but it sure wasn't quite what MaryAnne was thinking when she left.
Rosco knocked on the door and slowly opened it. "Uh, Boss, can I talk to ya for a minute?"
"Rosco, you're suppose to be out lookin' for them theives. Until you get them back I ain't got nothin' to say to you."
"But I wanna ask you a favor, Boss. If you listen I think it's something you might agree with."
Boss regarded Rosco a moment, narrowing his eyes in question. "What?"
Rosco paused. "Well, uh...you see I've been worryin' a lot about MaryAnne lately, especially after what happened about a month ago."
"Well, uh...I want you to fire MaryAnne as a Sheriff's deputy."
Boss's eyes went wide. "YOU want ME to fire MARYANNE? After all the grief you gave me about hiring her to begin with??"
"Well, I know, but I never thought she'd get...shot. Ain't had nothin' but nightmares about it since."
"She only had a flesh wound, Rosco."
"Don't make no difference. I've been Sheriff for almost 25 years and ain't never had a deputy seriously injured or wounded in the line of duty. Until I hire my own kin. I don't think it's a good idea having her as a deputy if I'm just gonna worry about her all the time."
Boss thought a moment, still looking at his brother-in-law. "Well, alright, Rosco, if that's what you want me to do, I will."
"Could you do something else for me?"
"Don't tell her it was my idea."
Boss nodded. "Okay, Rosco."
MaryAnne returned to town almost two hours later, after finding no trace of the getaway car or the two crooks. She figured to check to see if any messages had come into the sheriff's station regarding the APB that had been put out and put some gas in her patrol car.
When she came into the booking room she quietly stepped up to the booking desk, so as not to have Boss hear her, and give her another chewing out. She no more than picked up the papers on the desk when the door to Boss's office opened.
She paused and looked up as Boss came out.
"Now look, Boss, I'm just here to see if anything's come in regarding the APB Rosco put out."
"Actually, you don't have to worry about that, MaryAnne."
"Nope." He paused looking at his cigar and then up at MaryAnne. "I regret to have to inform you that you're fired as of right now."
"FIRED?!?! What for??"
"For your poor performance this morning in handling that robbery."
"You're firing just me?? Oh this figures. You know you have a very interesting sense of equal rights, Boss. So what do Rosco and Enos get? 20 lashes with a wet noodle?"
"I'm sorry, MaryAnne, but that's the way it goes. I want you to turn in your gun and your badge."
MaryAnne growled and unbuckled her gun belt, whipped it off her waist and threw it on the booking desk. She then stepped down off the stairs and stood before Boss, looking him in the eye and pulling off her badge.
"I think you're making a mistake, Boss," she said through clenched teeth. "A very big mistake." She then grabbed his right hand and slammed the badge into his palm. She brushed past him and stormed out of the booking room.
Good thing she didn't do that with the pin side down, huh?
As she came out of the courthouse, she spotted Cletus coming down the sidewalk dressed in his deputy's uniform. She stopped, staring at him.
"Cletus Hogg what are you doing dressed in a deputy's uniform? Halloween isn't until next month."
Cletus giggled. "I know that. Ain't ya heard? Cousin Boss is hiring me back."
"He's hiring---" She looked at Cletus bug eyed. "Man, I don't believe this. I must've woke up in the Twilight Zone this morning."
"What's the matter?" Cletus asked.
"Boss Hogg just FIRED me! He said it had to do with--" She stopped. Her eyes suddenly narrowed in realization. She then sudddenly spun around and ran back up the steps of the courthouse with Cletus trailing after her.
"Boss Hogg! You sneaky, mangy pole cat!! I oughta..." she bite her tongue. "You're hiring Cletus back?? You fire me in order to have THREE idiots in the sheriff's department? What are you crazy or something?"
Boss looked at MaryAnne in surprise. He then looked at Cletus. "Cletus, you jackass, you weren't suppose to be here for another hour."
"Sorry, Cousin Boss, but I was just so darn excited about gettin' hired back again, I just..."
"Da da!! Will you hush them flappin' lips of yours!"
MaryAnne grabbed Boss by the arm. "What's going on here, Boss? I don't take too kindly to being shucked and jived about why I'm being fired." She then grabbed Boss by the lapels of his white jacket. "So you better tell me what you're up to or I'm gonna...."
"Alright, alright, it wasn't my idea anyway. It was Rosco's."
"What? Rosco's?! Are you kiddin' me?"
"No, see he's been worrying about you more lately since what happened with Pike Belanger and he asked me to fire you. I think he feels a little guilty about it."
She let go of the lapels. "Well, isn't that too bad," MaryAnne spat. "Guilty? Ha! I'll show him what guilty is." She spun around and stormed out of the booking room once more.
"Oh boy..." Boss said, wondering what he had started.
MaryAnne let Bandit out of her patrol car and walked with the dog over to the impound yard where Maverick was parked. She and Bandit got into the Firebird and she floored the accelerator and the car screamed out of the yard leaving rubber behind on the road as she tore out of town and back to the house.
Y'all reckon she's just a little bit upset?
When she got there, the only other car in the yard was Rosco's brown sedan. She went into the house, throwing her deputy's hat on the sofa. She knew Rosco wasn't in the house, which was just fine to her at the moment. She charged up the stairs to her room and pulled open the drawer of her dresser and pulled out her waitress uniform for the Boar's Nest. She changed out of her deputy's uniform and into the short shorts and flannel shirt and then started to pull her suitcases out from under her bed.
Thirty minutes later, Maverick was fully loaded with almost everything she owned and leaving the deputy's uniform on the couch in the living room with the hat, MaryAnne walked out of the house. She didn't paused and got into Maverick and tore out of the driveway for what she thought would be the last time.
Ten minutes after the dust had settled in the driveway of the Coltrane house, Rosco arrived, after finding from Boss that MaryAnne had learned of why she had really been fired.
He saw the deputy's uniform on the couch and the hat and then he turned and went up the stairs. He went into her room and found her closet and dresser were empty. He sighed and hung his head for a moment. I've really done it this time, he thought. He knew he had to find her to talk to her, to try to get her to understand his side of things. He left the room and went back down the stairs and out the front door.
Rosco's wonderin' if he should make out his will before he finds MaryAnne, because you can bet that this will turn out to be the closest thing to a second Civil War that anyone's seen.
Sweet Daisy, meanwhile, was on her way to the Boar's Nest, to open up for the afternoon and evening. MaryAnne usually arrived at around four-thirty, after she got off duty from the Sheriff's department. Y'all wonder where she might be now that's she's "off" duty?
Daisy saw Maverick parked out front of the Boar's Nest. She brought Dixie up beside the Firebird and looked at the blue car, noticing it was full of a couple of suitcases and a few boxes.
Daisy frowned in question and then got out of the Jeep and went into the Boar's Nest. When she got inside she found MaryAnne already started on putting the chairs down and getting things ready for opening and Bandit sitting over in the corner, near the bar.
"MaryAnne, what are you doing here so early?"
MaryAnne looked up. "Oh. Well, I didn't have anything better to do, so I thought I'd make myself useful."
Daisy creased her eyebrows and looked at her watch. "But MaryAnne, aren't you supposed to be on duty now? You're usually not here until four-thirty."
"I ain't on duty any more," MaryAnne said as she walked over behind the bar.
"What do you mean 'any more'?"
MaryAnne stopped what she was doing behind the bar and looked at Daisy. "I was fired a little while ago."
"What?!? Oh MaryAnne, I'm sorry. What happened?"
"Boss said it was because I goofed this morning. Then I find out that Cletus was hired back BEFORE I was even fired. When I approached Boss about it, he told me that Rosco had asked him to fire me."
"Rosco?? Now why would he do a fool thing like that?"
"Because he worries about me too much. Do you remember about a month ago when that fella from Florida came here looking for me and Rosco?"
"Well, that's what did it. Rosco ain't done nothin' but act like a mother hen since. Whenever I would do a night patrol he would make me call in every ten minutes or so, and GOD FORBID I forget or he'd have a fit. I don't know why he didn't just go with me and hold my hand."
Daisy giggled and brought her hand to her mouth to stifle it.
MaryAnne glared at her. "Oh, you think it's funny huh?"
Daisy stopped. "No, MaryAnne--"
"I've been a police officer since I was 20 years old, Daisy. It's the only thing I know how to do really well. I don't think it's very funny that the one person who sort of encouraged me to persue law enforcement, would end up firing me from his own department!"
"MaryAnne, I wasn't laughing at you. I don't think it's funny at all that Rosco would have you fired."
"Yeah, well, I'm sure you noticed that Maverick was all packed up? I've decided to no longer be a burden to him, so I've moved out."
"Don't try to tell me that I'm being selfish or any of that," MaryAnne said. "I'm so mad at him right now that if I was to stay at the house it would probably collapse when he got home and all the yelling I would do at him."
"So where are you going to go?"
MaryAnne shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'll go back to Finchburg County."
"I've a better idea. Why don't you stay with us at the farm for awhile? It'll give you a chance to cool off and settle down and we can help you convice Rosco that he's made a mistake."
"Daisy, I wouldn't want to intrude--"
"Nonesense. I ain't taking no for an answer, MaryAnne, and neither will Uncle Jesse."
MaryAnne made a face. She knew it would be pointless to argue the issue with Daisy, so she nodded. "Alright," she said.
"Good. I'll give Uncle Jesse a call on the CB and let him know you'll be coming home with me." Daisy walked over to the CB set that was on the bar.
"Bo Peep calling Shepherd. Come in Shepherd."
While Daisy was calling Uncle Jesse, Rosco was just about to arrive at the Boar's Nest. Friends and neighbors, hang on to your hats.
"There," Daisy said placing the CB mike down. "You heard him yourself. You're welcome to stay with us."
MaryAnne managed a smile. "Thanks, Daisy."
Daisy looked towards the door of the Boars Nest and she waited to see if what she had heard was right. The idling of an engine could be heard and she walked over and looked out, seeing Rosco's patrol car.
She turned back to MaryAnne. "It's Rosco."
MaryAnne stopped what she was doing and looked toward the door. She walked over and looked out. Sure enough, there was Rosco.
She looked at Daisy. "Oh no, I do NOT want to talk to him. Daisy, you're going to have to restrain me in order to not have the Boar's Nest collapse."
MaryAnne returned to the last table that still had chairs on it and she went back to taking them down. She didn't look over to the door when she heard it whoosh open.
"MaryAnne--" Rosco started.
"I have nothing to say to you Rosco, and you have nothing to say that I want to hear. So why don't you just turn around and leave."
"Will you just listen to me for a moment?"
Rosco sighed. "MaryAnne, look, I'm sorry, but I think it's for the best."
"For the best? The best for who? It sure as hell ain't the best for me."
"MaryAnne, you gotta understand. Ever since what happened a couple of months ago I ain't had nothin' but nightmares about it. I don't want nothin' to happen to you."
"Well, ya see, Rosco, that's why I moved out. So you won't have to worry about me anymore."
Daisy stood by the bar quietly watching the exchange that was taking place between the Coltrane cousins. The coldness from MaryAnne and the concern and frustration from Rosco were sides she had never seen before and she wondered if she was witnessing the beginning of the second Civil War.
"Just leave, Rosco," MaryAnne said. "I said I didn't want to talk to you and I don't. So just get out and let me do my work here. Or are you going to try to get Boss to fire me from here because you're afraid I'm gonna cut myself on a broken beer bottle?"
"Will you go, please?"
MaryAnne turned away from Rosco and went about her work, pulling the cloth from her back pocket and wiping the table. He watched her a moment and then quietly turned to the door and left the Boar's Nest.
When he got to his patrol car he paused a moment. He looked back at the door of the Boar's Nest and sighed, trying to recall if there was ever a time he had done something to make MaryAnne this angry and what he did to get her forgiveness.
Ol' Rosco may want to practice his apology on his knees and with MaryAnne's deputy's badge in hand to give back to her, because that's about what it's gonna take for him to get her forgiveness.
Later that evening, the Boar's Nest was crowded with it's usual cast of regulars. The Dukes were all there, along with Cooter, and none of them realized they all had a front row seat to the next round in the match of Coltrane vs. Coltrane.
Luke had just filled Cooter's glass when he looked up and saw Rosco, Enos and Cletus come inside.
The three members of the Hazzard County Sheriff's Department found a table and took a seat. Luke watched as Rosco looked toward MaryAnne at the bar, but she never looked over at him.
'Ol Luke couldn't help but wonder just exactly what was going on, because usually MaryAnne greeted Rosco herself the minute he came in the door.
Now Enos and Cletus were aware of the rift between the Coltrane cousins, but they had no idea that she would direct her wrath at them as well. Poor Enos, unknowingly, fired the first shot, when he tried to order a glass of buttermilk from MaryAnne.
"Sorry, Enos," she said. "You'll have to ask Daisy to get that for you. I refuse to serve members of the Hazzard County Traitor's Department." She looked at Rosco. "Oops, I mean Sheriff's department." She turned away and went back to the bar.
Enos was stung a bit by her words and he looked at Rosco. Rosco sighed and got up from the table and walked over to her.
"You had no call to talk to Enos like that," he said.
She finished putting three beer mugs on her tray and then turned to him. "You have no call to talk to me at all," she spat and then grabbed the tray and stormed off.
Rosco followed after her. "You know, I think you're starting to act childish about this."
"I'm acting childish? Hey, I'm not the one who was too chicken to fire their own kin. You're the one acting childish, Rosco. Although, that's not too hard for you." She stopped at the table next to the one the Dukes and Cooter were seated at and she placed two of the beers down. She was about to walk off when Rosco grabbed her by the arm and spun her around to face him.
She glared at him. "What?"
"Will you just listen to me for one dang minute? Now I had you fired in order to keep you from ending up in a pine box before your time. Police work's too dangerous nowadays, MaryAnne, especially for a woman."
MaryAnne's eyes flared in anger. She grabbed the beer mug on her tray and threw the contents in Rosco's face.
Everyone in the Nest was watching the confrontation by now and they stared in shock at Rosco as the beer dripped off his face and soaked into his shirt. He remained still for a moment with his eyes closed.
MaryAnne slammed the empty mug back on her tray. When Rosco opened his eyes and looked at her, he could feel her eyes cutting right through his heart. She spoke through clenched teeth.
"That is the most chauvenistic explanation I have ever heard in my life. I remind you, Sheriff Coltrane, that a bullet knows no gender boundry and I can't believe you of all people would be giving me that kind of crap. Now get out."
She walked away towards the store room, leaving Rosco standing in the middle of the Boar's Nest, no better off than he had been that afternoon. He took a handkerchief out of his back pocket and wiped his face, trying to muster as much dignity as he could as he walked towards the door. He could feel a thousand eyes on him and he ignored them all and left. Daisy put her tray down and went to the store room to see MaryAnne. Bo and Luke got up from their table and followed.
When they came in they saw her sitting on a crate with her head resting against the shelves. She had her hands over her face and was quietly crying.
Daisy knelt down infront of her. "Oh honey..."
"What am I going to do?" MaryAnne balled. "I can't believe I did that. I've never been so mad at him before. Oh why is this even happening?"
"I know it doesn't seem like it right now but everything's gonna be okay MaryAnne, you'll see."
"Oh Daisy, I've lost the only job I know how to do really well, I just dumped beer all over the only thing I've got left for family. Ain't nothin' gonna be okay again."
"Yes, it will, MaryAnne," Bo said. "We're gonna help ya show Rosco that he was wrong to fire you from the Sheriff's department."
"Bo's right," Daisy said. "Rosco will see he did the wrong thing."
"Yeah," Luke said. "So don't worry about a thing. I'm willing to bet
you'll be back working at the Sheriff's department by the end of the
Daisy smiled. "Until then though, we gotta get back out there. Are you gonna be okay?"
MaryAnne wiped her eyes carefully, trying to salvage any make up that possibly was left. "Yeah, I'll be alright."
"Okay. Come on," Daisy extended her hand to MaryAnne and helped the former deputy to stand. They then headed back out to the bar.
MaryAnne felt a little strange coming back into the bar, knowing for sure that everyone saw what happened and were probably wondering what was going on with her and Rosco. She actually felt embarrassed and briefly contemplated running back to the store room. Then she saw Enos and felt even worse for having acted the way she did towards him. She went over to the bar and prepared a glass of buttermilk and then walked over to where Enos and Cletus were still seated.
"Um...Enos?" She placed the glass down infront of him. He looked at the glass and then at MaryAnne.
"Enos, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to snap at you."
"That's okay, MaryAnne," Enos said. "I know you're upset about havin' been fired."
"Yeah, but I didn't have to take it out on you or Cletus here."
"Aw shoot, we've had more taken out on us from Cousin Boss then we could ever get from you," Cletus said.
Bo and Luke, meanwhile, had stepped outside the Boar's Nest to try to talk to Rosco, but when they got out there his patrol car was gone.
"Should we try to find him?" Bo asked.
Luke thought for a moment. "Yeah, why don't we? I still don't quite understand what's going on and what caused all of this, but I've never seen Rosco and MaryAnne like this."
"Yeah, I know." Bo paused. "Where do you suppose he's at?"
"Well, we'll look in the usual places. His house, the courthouse and his favorite speed trap," Luke said, walking to the General.
Bo followed after him and climbed into the driver side. After he started the Geneal, they drove out of the parking lot of the Boar's Nest.
Rosco had returned to town to change his shirt. As he stepped out of bathroom, wearing a clean uniform shirt, he held the soaked shirt up realizing he was going to have to get it cleaned himself, because he knew MaryAnne wasn't going to do it.
He looked up to see Flash sitting on the floor below the booking desk and looking back at him.
"Oh Flash, I feel guilty enough as it is," he said.
"Guess I deserved what she did at the Boar's Nest didn't I?"
Rosco stepped toward the bench that was just below the booking desk and laid the shirt across the end of it. He wrinkled his nose when he got a wiff of the alcohol on the shirt.
"Great. I'm gonna smell like a flat Boar's Nest Special all night," he said as he walked up the steps and headed toward the desk that was next to the cell.
As he settled into the chair behind the desk, the double doors of the booking room opened and in walked Bo and Luke. Rosco looked up when he saw them out of the corner of his eye and they stopped by the stairs.
"What are you boys doin' here?"
"We wanted to talk to ya, Rosco," Luke said as he and Bo approached the desk. "About MaryAnne."
Rosco made a face. "What about her?"
"Like why you fired her." Bo said. "Rosco, we saw her dump beer all over you at the Boar's Nest and I don't know about you but I would have to say she's pretty mad about it."
"Yeah, well, it's for her own good."
"We know you're concerned about her safety," Luke said. "It's understandable and we can even sympathize."
"Yeah," Bo said. "Heck, when Daisy was a deputy all we did was follow her around and help her out." He paused. "Well, we thought we were helping her out. Turned out she didn't quite like us doing that."
Rosco did a double take. "When Daisy was a deputy?"
The boys chuckled.
"You were in Atlanta," Luke said. "About five years ago."
"Oh," Rosco said. "Well, I doubt she was shot while she was on duty."
"Well...no," Bo said. "But by firing MaryAnne you took something away from her, Rosco. Something that means a lot to her."
Rosco looked at the boys. "Being a deputy?"
"Not being just any deputy," Luke said. "But being one of your deputies."
Rosco paused thoughtfully and turned his gaze toward the desk top. It had meant a lot to him to have her as one of his deputies. But keeping her alive meant more.
"We know you wanna keep her safe," Bo said. "But you're gonna make her miserable if you try to force her to live life in a bubble."
"I know," Rosco said.
The boys paused and looked at Rosco.
"Listen, Daisy invited her to stay at the farm for a few days," Luke said. "If you want to try to talk to MaryAnne again, that's where you'll find her."
Rosco nodded. "Alright."
Bo smiled. "We'll even make sure she doesn't have a mug of beer in her hand at the time."
Rosco turned his eyes up to Bo, half amused by the comment.
Luke chuckled and tapped his cousin on the arm. "C'mon Bo, let's leave the Sheriff alone."
The boys turned and walked back towards the stairs and then out of the booking room.
* * *
After they closed the Boar's Nest for the night at eleven, MaryAnne followed Daisy to the farm. The farm house was dark, except for the back porch light that was still lit. The boys and Jesse had already gone to bed, so Daisy helped MaryAnne bring in some of the suitcases quietly.
"Thanks, Daisy," MaryAnne said after they put the last one in the guest room.
"You're welcome," Daisy said and smiled. "If you need anything just wake one of us up."
MaryAnne nodded. "Okay."
Daisy patted her on the arm. "Everything's gonna be fine, MaryAnne. You'll have your badge back."
Daisy gave her a reassuring smile and then said, "Well, you better get some sleep."
MaryAnne nodded and the door to the guest room quietly closed. She turned towards the room and paused in thought. Bandit watched her for a moment.
MaryAnne felt strange standing in the middle of the guest room of the Duke farm. But she knew she couldn't go home and usually at this time she was doing a night patrol.
Not tonight, she thought with a bit of bitterness. So I can't go jump in a patrol car either.
She sighed and went over to one of the suitcases that was on the floor, lifted it up on to the bed and opened it. She pulled out her nightshirt and then shut the light off in the room and changed out of her waitress outfit in the dark. When she finished, she turned the light back on and looked at the four suitcases that were on the floor and the one on the bed, realizing she didn't know which one her toothbrush was in. She shook her head, deciding that she didn't feel like finding it so she wouldn't bother brushing her teeth for this one evening. She put the suitcase she had got her nightshirt out of back on the floor and turned the light out one last time and crawled into bed.
Rosco decided to stay at the courthouse for most of the night. He dozed in the chair in his office, went to do his patrol at ten (and purposely avoiding the Boar's Nest, which was part of his usual route) and came back to courthouse when Enos went out.
A little after one o'clock in the morning the door to the booking room opened and Rosco figured to see either Enos or Cletus come in.
It turned out to be Boss Hogg.
"Boss, what are you doing here? It's after one o'clock in the morning."
"Lulu asked me to come over and check on you when I had my midnight snack."
"Oh. Well, I'm fine."
"No, you ain't."
Rosco looked at his brother in law. He shook his head. "No, I guess I ain't."
"I heard about what happened at the Boar's Nest. Rosco, I'm sorry, if that dumb jackass Cletus hadn't shown up early, I wouldn't have told her that you wanted me to fire her and none of this would be happening."
"No," Rosco shook his head. "I suppose she would have figured it out eventually." He paused. "If I could just get her to understand. She, Lulu, Mama and Flash are all I got, and I refuse to allow the chance that she could be killed in the line of duty as one of my deputies to exist."
"So I suppose saying I would agree to hire her back won't make any difference?"
"Nope. To be honest? I'd rather have her mad at me." He looked at Boss. "Then not here at all."
MaryAnne awoke suddenly at four a.m. thinking she was supposed to be out on patrol. But then she remembered where she was and what had been happening and she sighed. In her dream, she had been back as a deputy, giving Boss the fits because she smoked the tires on her patrol car so many times she had to get them replaced. And then she ended up wrecking the patrol car after Boss fired her.
Maybe THAT'S what I should have done, she thought. Hit both Boss and Rosco right in the wallet. I should have wrecked my patrol car. Maybe I could have been real creative about it too, like running into Rosco's patrol car, or hell, running into Boss's Caddy.
She shook her head. She knew she couldn't have done that. MaryAnne never displayed much anger and when she did she was never destructive with it. Most of it she held inside until the tears started.
MaryAnne threw the covers off her and got up. She was too much awake now to try to go back to sleep so she found her way to the door and quietly pulled it open. Bandit awoke and got up from his spot on the floor and nudged against MaryAnne's leg.
"Hey, boy," she said softly, patting him on the head. She stepped out of the room with the German Shepherd and they creeped through the Duke kitchen and out on to the porch.
MaryAnne sat down on the old wicker couch and Bandit sat down on the floor by her feet, resting his head on her lap. She gently stroked her fingers behind the big dogs ears and gazed out into the dark yard of the Duke farm.
"You miss Flash, don't ya?" she asked.
Bandit responded with a whistling whimper.
"Yeah, I miss her too." She chuckled. "Heck, I even miss Rosco a little bit. But I just don't understand why he went so far as to have me fired. I've been a police officer for eight years and what happened with Belanger was nothing compared to what I went through sometimes in Atlanta. Man, I couldn't wait to get out of there."
Bandit whined again.
"You couldn't either, huh?" she asked with a smile. She then paused and sighed. "I don't know, Bandit, I don't think Rosco's gonna be giving me my badge back any time soon, if ever. Guess I'm gonna have to get used to slinging brew at the Boar's Nest."
Suddenly, MaryAnne heard footsteps in the kitchen and she turned her head to towards the open door.
"Just me, MaryAnne," Jesse said as he came to the door way. "What are you doing up at this hour?"
"I couldn't sleep. And usually I'm doing a patrol now. Guess I'm gonna have to get used to not being up at strange hours of the night anymore."
Jesse came out on to the porch. He made his way around Bandit and sat down next to MaryAnne.
"I couldn't help over hear you," he said. "Sounds to me like you've given up already."
"Oh Jesse, Rosco's stubborn as a mule. There ain't now way I'm gonna be able to convince him to give me my badge back. I think it's safe to say that at the ripe old age of 28, I have been forced to retire from law enforcement. Permanently."
"I think you're wrong. I do agree that that cousin of yours is pretty stubborn sometimes, but I don't think that there's no way to get him to give you your badge back."
"I don't think so, Jesse. What happened with Belanger apparently sent Rosco right to the edge." She shook her head. "Ain't no way I'm getting that badge back."
"Can't blame him for being worried about you."
"I ain't. I'm mad at him more because he couldn't tell me himself, he had to have Boss do it. I don't know which is suppose to be scarier for him, me getting shot or him standing infront of me and sayin' 'MaryAnne, I know you're a good cop and you know I love you and don't want nothin' to happen to you so, uh, you're fire.'"
"I think he knew you were gonna be mad."
"Well sure I was gonna be mad, but if he had told me himself I may have been able to accept it a little better. I wouldn't have accepted it completely, but I probably wouldn't be feeling as cheated as I do." She paused. "Jesse, I don't know why he didn't just come and talk to me about how he felt after what happened. Lord knows it probably would have done both of us some good."
"I think he was scared. Actually, no, he was terrified. You should have seen him in the waiting room that night. He was a wreck."
"Well then why didn't he say something to me? What does he think, that I wasn't scared too? I mean, it ain't everyday you get a bullet in the leg."
"I don't know, MaryAnne," Jesse said. "Maybe it's bothered him so much that he can't put it in words. Or they come out like they did at the Boar's Nest."
MaryAnne snorted. "If that was his best attempt to say, 'MaryAnne, what happened to you really scared the dickens out of me,' it was a pretty lousy way to put it."
"Well, what if it had been the other way around and it had been Rosco who'd been shot? How would you have reacted?"
MaryAnne paused. She understood Rosco for being upset and worried and she knew she would have felt the same way if it had been the other way around.
"I would have been terrified and worried too. I see you're point, Jesse, but I wouldn't have been able to make Boss fire Rosco."
"Would you if you could?"
She paused again, looking towards the horizon that was slowly starting to become light. Her first reaction was that she would have fired Rosco, only because he had done it to her. But upon further thought, she wasn't sure.
"I don't know, Jesse. If I did, atleast I would have told him myself. But I don't know if I would fire him or not."
"Well, maybe he's over reacting a little, but he was scared for you that night." Jesse patted her hand that rested on her leg. "You do mean a lot to him."
MaryAnne smiled a little. "Well, that's good to know."
Jesse chuckled, which got MaryAnne giggling a little too.
"Well," Jesse said. "Got a new day to get started on. I think you, tho', should try to get a couple more hours of sleep."
Bandit lifted his head and opened his mouth giving an incredible yawn.
"Looks like Bandit her agrees with me," Jesse said.
MaryAnne laughed. "Okay, come on boy, we'll get some more sleep so we're all refreshed to work at the Boar's Nest in the morning." She got up and started to lead Bandit back into the house. Jesse followed.
"I wouldn't worry about sleeping late," he said. "We'll wake you in time to eat breakfast and get there in time."
"Thanks, Jesse," she said and stopped and turned back to him. "And thanks for the talk."
"No problem. I just hope you and Rosco can finally sit down and talk to one another."
MaryAnne nodded. She then walked with Bandit back to the guest room.
Ol' Jesse sees reason better than most anyone else in Hazzard. But friends, I don't think even Jesse Duke can get MaryAnne and Rosco talkin' to one another in a civilized manner.
Not that Rosco would have been in much of a mood to talk reasonably to anyone later that morning anyway. Because while MaryAnne was having a hearty Duke breakfast, ol' Rosco was sitting not even two miles from the Duke house listening to his stomach growl from having not eaten anything yet.
After the breakfast dishes were cleaned and put away, Daisy and MaryAnne headed out to the Boar's Nest to open for the lunch time crowd at eleven. MaryAnne drove Maverick and followed Daisy. Bandit was sitting in the passenger seat of the Firebird and the German Shepherd saw Rosco's patrol car sitting off the side of the road behind the bushes before MaryAnne did.
Bandit barked after they went by.
"What is it, Bandit?" MaryAnne asked. She turned her head to look at the dog and glanced in her rearview mirror and saw the Plymouth Fury coming up behind her.
She continued to drive a little bit until Daisy's voice came over the CB.
"MaryAnne, that's not Rosco following us is it?"
MaryAnne picked up the mike. "Yeah, it is, Daisy. You keep going. I'm gonna stop and find out what he's up to."
MaryAnne slowed Maverick down and pulled off to the side of the road. Rosco drove ahead and then pulled over in front the Firebird. MaryAnne got out of her car and stood by the open door. She watched Rosco as he got out of his cruiser and turned to face her.
"Don't start yellin' at me yet," he said as he started to step toward her. "I just want to say something to you."
MaryAnne voiced no response, but remained standing and looked at him,allowing him to continue.
"Now what I said last night at the Boar's Nest...well, it didn't come out right. You're a good cop, MaryAnne, a dang good cop. But I just...I don't want nothin' to happen to ya."
MaryAnne paused a moment. I'm a good cop he says, but apparently not good enough to defend myself.
"Is that all?" she asked pointedly.
Rosco looked at her for a second. He sighed, realizing that his most recent attempt at explanation had achieved no better results than any other attempt. "Okay," he said throwing his hands up. "I can see you're still acting madder than a wet hen about this."
"Better than acting like a mother hen. And don't you dare follow me around all day today."
"I won't," he snapped. "Because I don't need you dumping more beer on me seeing as I only got one decent uniform shirt left and it's the one I'm wearing." He turned and walked back to his patrol car.
MaryAnne got back in Maverick and slammed the door. "Fine," she yelled out the window as he drove off, "I don't need Boss charging me--" her voiced softened and the patrol car was further away now, "--for another beer anyway." She sighed and let her gaze drift down to the floor of the Firebird.
Looks like neither Rosco, nor MaryAnne is ready to sit down and seriously talk about this don't it?
* * *
When Rosco got back to town, he dropped his beer soiled shirt at the dry clearners and then stopped at the diner to get something for breakfast. He then brought the wrapped bacon and egg muffin sandwich back to the courthouse. He decided he
would stay completely out of MaryAnne's way today and if he had to go to Boss's Boar's Nest office for anything, he'd go in the side door.
The only way to avoid MaryAnne trouble, is to stay as far away from her as possible, Rosco thought, paraphrasing a line from some old western he'd seen years ago. He came into the booking room where Enos was allready sitting at the booking desk.
"Good morning, Sheriff," Enos said.
"No, it's not," Rosco replied as he went over to where the coffee pot was. He put the wrapped sandwich down and then looked at Enos. "Sorry," he said. "Good morning, Enos."
Enos watched Rosco as the Sheriff prepared a cup of coffee.
"Did you see MaryAnne?" he asked, even though he knew that by asking the question it was like lighting a fuse on stick of dynamite.
"Oh yeah, I saw her," Rosco said with a sigh. "Everytime I try to explain it to her, it doesn't seem to come out right." He paused and took a sip of the coffee. He then suddenly made a sour face.
"Blech!" he exclaimed. "Enos..."
"I didn't make it. Cletus did."
"Ugh...man, this is awful." He put the cup down. "Who usually makes the coffee?"
Enos hesitated and bit his lip. "Um...MaryAnne."
Rosco rolled his eyes. "Brother..."
"Do you want me to go over to Vinnie's and get some coffee?"
"Could ya? This stuff here tastes like it was made with some of Boss's twenty year old shine." He cringed. "Ick."
"Sure," Enos said as he came down from behind the booking desk. He stopped and looked at the coffee that was already there. "What do we do with that?"
"Well, if we all hope to live to a ripe old age, I say we dump it," Rosco said.
Ol' Cletus never could make coffee right. And that coffee was made with one of those automatic machines; all he had to do was add water. Makes ya wonder if Rosco's right about what kinda water was used.
As uneventful as a day could be in Hazzard County, this was it, atleast for the most part. The Duke boys remained on the farm for most of the day, helping Jesse bale hay and tend to other things around the farm that had been put off. Rosco kept his promise to himself and never went near the Boar's Nest, except when Boss called him out there about an hour before Daisy and MaryAnne closed it down to get ready for the late afternoon and evening crowd. Rosco was out of there as soon as possible and as fast as you could spit, seeing as he only had one decent uniform shirt left.
MaryAnne was to be by herself for maybe twenty minutes. Daisy went to town to see if she could get two of the beer pitchers that had broke earlier in the day, replaced, so MaryAnne continued getting the Boar's Nest ready for the late afternoon crowd.
Coming down the road, the same two men who had robbed the electronics store, spotted the Boar's Nest and the lone car parked out front. The glanced at each other and nodded, deciding to see if they were looking at another opportunity to get more cash.
MaryAnne came out of the side of the building with a bag of garbage to throw in the dumpster. After she tossed the bag in, she looked up the road and saw the car and immediately recognized it from the robbery the day before.
"Holy smokes," she breathed. She ducked back into the Boar's Nest and ran to the bar and to the front doors and watched the car slow down and come into the parking lot of the establishment. When the doors opened, MaryAnne turned around and went to hide behind the bar.
The two men approached the front door and peered in. They could see the lights were on and that the place looked like it was in the process of being cleaned, but they could see no one. Carefully, one of the men grabbed the door handle and opened the
MaryAnne heard the click and she strained her ears to listen as they came in.
"Check the office there," the same man said, pointing to the door of Boss's office. As his partner went to the door, he continued approaching the bar.
MaryAnne heard the floor creak and she gripped the bottle of imported beer she had in her hand tighter. She quietly scooted down to the very end of the bar and carefully looked around it, seeing the man stand closer to the bar and try to look over to the otherside. MaryAnne then suddenly leaped up and threw the bottle at him, landing it square in his chest.
The man flinched at the sudden impact and he turned wildly as the bottle went crashing to the floor. MaryAnne ran up to him, grabbed by his jacket with one hand and sent a flying right cross at his chin with the other. The sound of the breaking glass caused the man's partner to come running out of Boss's office. MaryAnne grabbed up a chair and tried to throw it at him but he caught the legs and twisted it out of her grip, making it go across a table and on to the floor. She tried to swing a fist at him but was blocked not only by him, but by the man behind her, who grabbed her around the waist.
"No! Let me go!" she demanded, trying to wriggle free from his grip.
"Uh-uh, sweetheart," he said. The other man picked up the broken beer bottle and pointed the jagged edges at MaryAnne.
MaryAnne stopped squirming when she saw the sharp brown glass that was held close to her face.
"That's it," the man that had the grip on her said.
"Hey," the other man said. "This is that girl cop from yesterday."
"Really? Well now, ain't that something. Ripping this place off oughta be just as easy then."
"You ain't gonna get away with this," MaryAnne said.
The two men laughed.
Don't y'all fret now, cuz MaryAnne's got help a comin'.
Heading down the road past the Boar's Nest was Rosco in his patrol car. He saw MaryAnne's Firebird and the other car but didn't make the connection right at first. He continued to drive on.
Um...well...I thought she was gonna have some help.
Rosco looked at Flash, who was now standing on the passenger seat looking at him.
"What is it, Flash?"
The basset barked again.
"You don't think I'm gonna try to talk to MaryAnne again do ya? Especially not when there's some car there that I don't...." Rosco stopped and suddenly slammed the brake, nearly sending poor Flash tumbling off the seat. He grabbed a hold of her as the car came to a stop.
"Jumpin' Geehosafat!" he exclaimed, remembering now where he'd seen that car before. He put the patrol car in reverse and backed it up to the side of the road and then he swung around and drove back to the Boar's Nest.
Well, alright now. I knew Rosco would get it eventually.
Rosco brought his patrol car around to the side of the Boar's Nest by the dumpster. He got out and quickly scurried to the front door. When he peered in cautiously, all he saw was MaryAnne tied to a chair. She was trying to wriggle free from the ropes and was looking toward the open doorway to Boss's office. Rosco turned around and went back to the side of the building and went in to the store room/kitchen entrance.
He came up to the door that opened into the bar and he looked through one of the small windows. MaryAnne was the only one in the bar and Rosco caught a glimpse of someone in Boss's office, near the desk and the small safe. Quietly, he pushed opened the door and walked up behind MaryAnne.
"MaryAnne, it's me," he said softly as he grabbed at the ropes around her hands and started to untie them.
MaryAnne turned her head quickly, a little startled but immediately relieved to see her cousin. "Rosco," she said. "It's them two that robbed the electronics store yesterday."
"I know, I recognized the car." He got her hands free and then started on the ropes that were around her stomach and the chair.
"They already cleaned out the cash register," she said. "I think they're gonna try to take Boss's safe."
"Not while we're here." He removed the ropes from around her and MaryAnne stood up. They both started to approach the door to Boss's office, hoping to catch the two off guard, but one of them turned to look.
Rosco and MaryAnne froze as the man slapped his partner on the arm. "We got trouble, man." The partner looked up quickly as Rosco and MaryAnne split up and ducked away from the doorway. The two men came out into the bar and each went after one of the Coltrane cousins.
The taller of the two men, the one MaryAnne had thrown the beer bottle at earlier, grabbed up a chair and swung it at Rosco, who ducked in time and the chair crashed against the wall. Rosco tried to stay on the offensive and jab his elbow into the man's side but he missed the swing and the man ended up grabbing a hold of the Sheriff by the arms and pushing him against the wall. He then held his forearm across Rosco's chest and pulled out the pearl handled pistol from Rosco's gunbelt.
"Not this time," the man growled.
MaryAnne had knocked a table behind her to trip up the other man who was after her. She turned and was about to hit him on the back with her fist when the gun suddenly went off. She gasped and stopped. She looked up at Rosco and thought the worst had happened. But then she saw that the man had the gun pointed up to the ceiling and he turned and looked at her.
She froze and raised her hands up to signal that she would not attempt anything.
"Get up, Dwight, go get the money."
Dwight got up and stumbled back to Boss's office. He then came back out with the small canvas bag that had all the money from the cash register in it.
"Okay," he said.
The other man looked at Rosco. "I normally don't knock off the fuzz, but I don't think you two count."
"Hold it, Chet," Dwight said. "Now I ain't gonna be tied in to no murder, epecially of a Sheriff. Why don't we just tie 'em up in the office and get out of here?"
Rosco nodded. "I like his idea better."
Chet looked at his partner, then at MaryAnne and finally at Rosco. After a moment, he uncocked the gun.
"Alright," he said, grabbing Rosco by the tie and shirt and pulling him toward Boss's office. Dwight took MaryAnne by the arm and led her to the office as well.
The two robbers made Rosco and MaryAnne sit on the floor, back to back. They tied their hands behind their backs first and then they wrapped the rest of the rope around the two, tying them together.
When they finished, Dwight grabbed the money bag he had placed on the pool table and Chet took Rosco's pistol out of his waistband and put it down on the table. Without another word, the two left, closing the door behind them.
"Ain't they sweet," MaryAnne said.
"We ain't never gonna catch 'em now," Rosco said.
"Sure we will." MaryAnne started moving her wrists to try to loosen the ropes.
"Wait, wait," Rosco said, grabbing her hands.
"What?" When she felt a tug on the ropes, it already answered her question.
"You got the knot?"
"I think so..." He pulled at it a few more times and then the rope came loose through the knot.
"Alright!" MaryAnne cheered as her hands became free and she wriggled out from under the ropes that were around her. She then turned and got Rosco loose from the ropes around his wrists and helped him up.
He threw rope around him off and on to the pool table and picked up his gun. "Alright, let's get 'em," he said as she started to walk towards the door.
"Hold it," she said. "I ain't goin' after them unless I'm a deputy Sheriff of Hazzard County."
Rosco sighed and turned back to her. "MaryAnne, we ain't got time for this. I can't just go 'poof' you're a deputy."
"Go 'poof, I'm a deputy,' or you may end up going 'poof on to the unemployment line' when Boss finds out the Boar's Nest got robbed by the same two who robbed the electronics store!"
"Jit jit. Oh alright, 'poof' you're a deputy. Let's go!" He turned and opened the office door and they went running into the bar and out the front door.
"Where the heck did you park?!"
"Over here," he replied, running over to the side of the Boar's Nest. MaryAnne followed and found Rosco's patrol car parked by the dumpster. He was already around on the passenger side, saving her from having to ask if she could drive.
As Rosco settled Flash in his lap, MaryAnne floored the accelerator and car sped backwards. Seeing the fresh tire marks that were left by the two robbers, she followed them out of the parking lot and tore down the road. Bandit was left behind in Maverick.
"You better give Enos and Cletus a call on the CB. We're gonna need some help," MaryAnne said.
Rosco nodded and grabbed the mike. "Enos? Cletus? This is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, you two got yer ears on? Come on."
Enos was out on patrol and Cletus was at the courthouse when they both heard Rosco's voice over the radio. As Cletus got up from the desk to answer, Enos responded first.
"This is Enos."
"And this is everybody's favorite Hazzard County mountie, Deputy Cletus Hogg."
"Cletus," Rosco scolded. "Listen, I want you two to get yer posteriors out here to Mill Road and help me and MaryAnne catch them two that robbed the electronics store yesterday. They just robbed the Boar's Nest."
"You and MaryAnne are working together??" Enos asked, not believing it.
Rosco rolled his eyes as MaryAnne giggled. "For the moment, yes," he replied. "Now listen we're following after 'em now. They're heading towards Pine Gully. Is one of you mobile so you can try to cut them off??"
"I am," Enos said. "I'm on my way."
"And so am I!" Cletus exclaimed.
"Well, as they used to say in the movies: The CAAAAALVERYEEEE'S comin'!" MaryAnne exclaimed. "Tee hee."
"Will you just get after them," Rosco said. Although, he did chuckle a little.
Well, while Enos and Cletus were headin' out to help Rosco and MaryAnne, Daisy was returning to the Boar's Nest. Since her radio wasn't on the police channel, she kinda came to a premature conclusion when she found the Boar's Nest a mess and MaryAnne missing.
MaryAnne was catching up to the two robbers when Daisy's frantic voice came over the air waves. The Coltrane cousins looked at each other for a second and then Rosco picked up the mike.
"This is Rosco, what is it Daisy?"
"Rosco, I'm here at the Boar's Nest and it looks like something's happened. I can't find MaryAnne!"
"Oh, well that's because she's with me. Yeah, something did happen Daisy, two fellas tried to rob it."
"No, they didn't try," MaryAnne corrected. "They did! They've got the money from the register."
"Make that they DID rob it. MaryAnne and I are in hot persuit right now."
Daisy smiled. "Well, it's nice to hear that you two are working together again," she said. "Do you need any help?"
"Well, we got Enos and Cletus coming along here at some point," Rosco said.
"Which means they're gonna need help," Luke cut in from somewhere. He and Bo were traveling in the General and had heard everything over their radio. They set out across country to lend a hand to Rosco and MaryAnne.
The boys more or less took off to help because they couldn't believe that Rosco and MaryAnne were workin' together again, and had to see it for themselves.
Bo brought the General off the grassy field and onto the dirt of Jesup Road. After about a half a minute of traveling Luke spotted the grey car and patrol car.
"There they are," he said, pointing toward the road that the two vehicles were on that ran diagonal to Jesup Road. Just before the General came to where the two roads met, the crooks and law officers went by.
MaryAnne glanced in her rearview mirror as the General came in behind her. She picked up the CB mike.
"Nice to see ya, fellas," she said.
"Nice to see you and Rosco sitting in the same car," Luke replied. Bo then put his hand out for the mike, which Luke passed to him.
"Yeah," he said. "AND in hot pursuit."
Coming down the road toward them was Enos. He saw the three cars coming toward him and he turned his patrol car to form a road block.
Chet saw the car turn and he slammed the breaks, swung the sedan around and tore off past Rosco and MaryAnne and the General.
"Doh!" Rosco exclaimed as MaryAnne passed around Enos, nearly sending Rosco's Fury into the ditch. She came back up on the road and swung the cruiser around and went back around Enos again, on the other side.
Bo had slowed the General to a stop when MaryAnne went around Enos. After she tore off back in the other direction, he put the car in reverse and then swung around in a J-turn and headed back down the road. Enos followed.
Chet was starting to become fed up, especially after he saw a third patrol car join the chase, coming in off another road after they went past. He ordered his partner to try to get atleast Rosco and MaryAnne off their tail by shooting back at them. Dwight did so as the chase roared back to the Boar's Nest.
MaryAnne swerved the patrol car to try to avoid being hit. Her timing, however, wasn't right and when Dwight took another shot he managed to knock out the left front tire, causing the patrol car to lurch to the left. MaryAnne slammed the breaks and tried to turn the wheel in the opposite direction to avoid slamming into the gas pumps she was heading straight for. The flat tire refused to let the wheel turn and the only part of the car that moved was the back end as it fish tailed around and the passenger side of the patrol car crashed into the gas pumps.
The door ended up with more damage then the pump. The pump had moved only a little, but that small amount of movement was enough to break the gas line and start it to slowly leak.
When the car settled, MaryAnne looked at Rosco who was holding onto a fidgeting Flash.
"You alright?" she asked Rosco as she put a reassuring hand on Flash's back.
"Yeah...hit my arm on the door tho'."
MaryAnne was about to mention that it was the same arm he'd injured several months ago, when the stench of gasoline suddenly filled her nose.
"Holy smokes, I smell gasoline. Come on!" She pulled open the driver door and got out of the car. She then turned back and reached in for Flash who scrambled across the seat and jumped out. MaryAnne then grabbed at Rosco.
"Come on, cousin," she said, pulling on his shirt sleeve. He was already moving across the seat, holding his bruised arm against him. As soon as he was out of the car, he, MaryAnne and Flash ran like the dickens away from the patrol car.
When the fumes from the leaking gasoline reached the still running catalytic converter the violent reaction blew out the trunk of the car. The explosion caused Rosco to grab a hold of MaryAnne with his good arm as the two were knocked to their knees. MaryAnne grabbed up Flash as the car exploded a second time.
The explosions were kept to the patrol car only. When the chemical reactions stopped, all that was left was another destroyed Hazzard County patrol car. After a moment, Rosco and MaryAnne turned to look back at it.
"Aw man," Rosco said. "Ain't no way we're gonna get that fixed."
"Don't think so. Sure brings a new meaning to HOT pursuit don't it?"
"Sheesh." He closed his eyes and sighed, already hearing Boss blowing his stack about having to replace ANOTHER patrol car. He opened his eyes again and looked at MaryAnne.
"Yeah," she sighed. "Not my best piece of driving that's for sure. Did you hurt your arm real bad?"
"I don't think so." He moved his arm a bit. "Just bruised it a little."
Cletus came in off the road and brought his patrol car to a stop near the cousins Coltrane.
"Buzzards on a buzz saw!" he exclaimed as he got out of the car. "Y'all alright?"
"Yeah, Cletus, we're okay," Rosco said as he and MaryAnne now stood up. "Where'd Enos and the Duke boys go?"
"They're still after those two."
Out on the road, Luke picked up the General's CB mike.
"Enos, why don't we try a squeeze play on these fellas?"
"Ten-four, Luke," Enos replied. The patrol car disappeared off the road from behind the General and took a short cut to try to come out ahead of the two crooks. Enos was successful but the timing wasn't quite right. Chet saw the patrol car before it came out on to the road. He swung around the patrol car, nearly going into the ditch and fishtailing back on the roadway.
"Bo, look out!" Luke exclaimed. Bo slammed the breaks and the General left rubber behind on the pavement as the car tried to go from 60 to 0 with less than twenty feet of road way.
Enos looked at the General coming towards him and he gripped the steering wheel.
"Ah!" he exclaimed and closed his eyes. He thought for sure Bo was going to T-bone him, but the General stopped mere inches from the gold star on Enos's patrol car.
The boys glanced at each other and Bo let out the breath he'd been holding. He and Luke then got out of the General.
Enos still had his eyes closed tight.
"Enos?" Luke said. "Enos, you can open your eyes now. The General ain't an extension off your door."
The deputy opened his eyes. He jumped at the sight of the front of the Charger so close to the door and then looked at that boys.
"Whew, that was close."
"Yeah," Bo said. He then looked up the road. "Thing is, now we lost them two."
"Well, let's head back to the Boar's Nest," Luke said. "It looked like MaryAnne and Rosco took quite a spill. Let's make sure they're all right."
"Alright," Enos said and nodded. The boys returned to the General and backed up, then swung the car around and headed back to the Boar's Nest with Enos following.
Looks like them two got away for good don't it?
The General Lee and Enos's patrol car came in off the road and into the parking lot of the Boar's Nest. Daisy, Cletus, Rosco and MaryAnne were all on the other side of the parking lot, away from Rosco's patrol car which looked like nothing more than a charcoal briquette with gumballs on it, which the boys and Enos stared at as they got out of their vehicles.
"Man..." Luke breathed. "Are you two okay?"
"Yeah, we're alright," MaryAnne replied.
"You didn't catch them two did ya?" Rosco asked.
Luke shook his head. "No, they gave us the slip. We nearly T-boned the General in to Enos when them two got away."
"Doh...." Rosco made a face and then turned to MaryAnne. "So what do we do now?"
"Well...we COULD go to town and tell Boss all the bad news. And I mean all of it. The Boar's Nest gettin' robbed, the patrol car gettin' torched, the busted gas pump and on top of it all, them two gettin' away."
"Or, we....could...skip town because Boss is most certainly gonna have our hides."
"Jit, jit." Rosco knew that was the truth.
"Well, it ain't all that bad, " Cletus said. "You and Rosco were working together to try to catch them."
"Oh yeah, that too." MaryAnne looked at Rosco. "When Boss finds out that you went 'poof' I'm a deputy, we're BOTH gonna end up goin' 'poof' onto the unemployment line."
* * *
"Oh no, no, no, no...." Boss leaned back in his chair and brought his hands to the side of his head after MaryAnne gave him the last of the bad news; Rosco's burnt patrol car.
Rosco and MaryAnne were standing in front of Boss's desk in his office. "Boss, I'm really sorry," she said. "Don't blame Rosco, I was the...one...driving."
"MaryAnne, I can't believe I'm hearing this. You're acting more like Rosco than Rosco!"
"Jit jit," she said, almost exactly as Rosco would have. "Well...I....I tried to save the car but--"
Boss scoffed. "MaryAnne, if you weren't already fired from the Sheriff's department, I'd fire you now."
"Actually, you can if you want. Rosco gave me a field promotion."
"He named me a deputy. Um, but I think it was only supposed to be temporary." She gave Rosco a puppy dog kind of look, which basically asked, 'You were gonna fire again right after weren't you?'
"Rosco?" Boss queried.
"Uh....well, it--you see it was--" He glanced at MaryAnne and then back at Boss. "Yeah, I did. Listen Boss, maybe we can still catch them two. Assuming you don't fire me and you'll let MaryAnne be hired back as a deputy."
Both Boss and MaryAnne did a double take.
"What?!" they exclaimed.
"Rosco, are you serious?" MaryAnne said. "You want me back as a deputy?"
Rosco nodded. "And I won't fire ya when this is over with either. But the longer we stand around here talking about it, the more of a distance them two crooks are getting." He looked at Boss. "One last chance, Boss? Please?"
"Well....seems to me I've been giving y'all a lot of one last chances but...alright one last one. And you better hope you two find them or somebody else does or the both of you will be out for good, you understand?"
The two cousins nodded vigorously.
"Come on, Rosco," MaryAnne said, grabbing at his shirt sleeve and starting for the door, "We got us some crooks to catch!"
Sometimes, if it weren't for bad luck, Rosco and MaryAnne wouldn't have any luck at all. But this time, they actually had some good luck coming their way which was a nice switch. Then again, everything that had been happening up to that point had been a switch.
With Maverick leading the way, the Hazzard County Sheriff's department was out in hot pursuit and determined to nab the two crooks who had eluded them for almost two days. Before they all left town, Rosco put out a new APB so MaryAnne kept Maverick's CB tuned to the police channel to hear any updates.
When the Firebird and two patrol cars reached the junction of Mill Road and Route 11, the three cars went separate ways. The junction was the last known area the two crooks were last seen.
As MaryAnne turned the Firebird onto a new road she glanced at Rosco.
"What made you change your mind?"
"A lot of things," he replied. "Like what happened at the Boar's Nest just a little while ago. I guess if something's gonna happen to ya, it's gonna happen, whether you're wearing a uniform or not. And I just gotta realize that I can't follow you around and try to protect you all the time."
MaryAnne smiled and giggled. "You know who you sound like? I mean, EXACTLY like?"
MaryAnne looked at him. "Papa. He went through the same thing when I was about 18 or so. It was just before I had to make that shine run. Man, I thought he was gonna have a seizure!"
"Ha! I remember that. I dang near had a seizure when I found out about it."
"But I did it. I made it and I didn't get caught or nothin'."
"Yeah, you did do it. You've got a good head on your shoulders, MaryAnne. I know you can handle yourself in a situation and all, but that night when Belanger tried to get you, to get both of us, I was just really scared for ya."
"I know, I was too you know. How come you didn't say anything to me before now? Why'd you let it come to this?"
"I don't know," he said softly. "I just...I don't know. I couldn't figure out how to say it. I attempted to say something last night at the Boar's Nest...but we both know that didn't go over too well."
"Yeah....and I'm sorry I dumped that beer on ya."
"Don't be. I deserved it, I know I did...." Rosco glanced up the road.
MaryAnne was already looking. The grey car the two robbers had got away in was off the road and down in a ditch. MaryAnne slowed Maverick down and came to a stop in the middle of the dirt road, a few feet from where the grey car was. The country side was quiet and still. Almost too quiet.
"See anything?" Rosco asked as he and MaryAnne carefully looked around.
MaryAnne was shaking her head as she continued to look. "No."
The two cousins remained in the Firebird for a moment.
"I don't like it," MaryAnne said. "Somethin' ain't right."
"Yeah," Rosco replied. "But should we check out the car?"
MaryAnne nodded. "Let's give Enos and Cletus a call first." She picked up the mike.
"Enos? Cletus? Listen up fellas, me and Rosco found the car here on Canyon Road. It looks like they dumped it here but Rosco and I are gonna check it out. We'd appreciate it if y'all could come over here and give us a hand."
"Ten-four," Cletus replied first.
"Ten-four," said Enos.
"Okay," MaryAnne said as she put the mike down. "Keep a sharp eye."
She and Rosco got out of Maverick and carefully approached the car. The stepped down into the ditch and came up to the car. They each peered into a side window of the empty car.
MaryAnne leaned on the open driver window and looked across at Rosco.
"Clean as a starving hound's tooth," she said. "I think we lost 'em--" She stopped short when she heard Maverick's engine turn over. She and Rosco stared at each other for a split second and then they looked up towards the road in time to see the blue car start to drive away.
Chet was looking at them out the passenger window. "Thanks for the wheels suckas!!"
"Hey!" MaryAnne exclaimed, climbing back up to the road way. "Hey!!" When she and Rosco got up to the road, all they could do was watch Maverick drive away.
Now I said that Rosco and MaryAnne had some good luck comin' their way. They do, and believe it or not, this is it.
MaryAnne threw her hands in the air. "Somebody stop the world, I wanna get off!" She turned towards Rosco and looked down the road in the other direction where she saw one of the white Plymouth Fury's coming toward them.
"Wait, maybe I'll stay on the ride a little longer. Rosco, look!"
Rosco saw it too. "That's Enos."
Enos saw the two standing in the road and he increased the speed of his patrol car. When he caught up to them, he brought the car to a stop.
"They tricked us," MaryAnne said. "They got Maverick so move over, Enos, I'm driving."
"After what happened to the Sheriff's car?" he said.
"Enos!" MaryAnne exclaimed. "Move!"
Enos obeyed and climbed over to the passenger seat as Rosco got into the back.
"Hang on, y'all," she said and then slammed the accelerator and the Fury threw dirt back as it sped forward.
Chet and Dwight were still laughing when they suddenly heard a siren wailing in the distance behind them. Chet turned in the passenger seat and looked out the back window.
"What the---dang, they're persistent. Step on it, Dwight." Chet turned back around and pulled his gun from his waistband. "I shoulda popped them at the road house when we had the chance." He leaned out the passenger window.
"Oh boy," MaryAnnne said, seeing him. "Here we go again. Duck fellas." As she said that, Chet opened fire. Rosco hid down in the back seat and Enos crouched below the dash board.
MaryAnne moved the patrol car out of the line fire. But the only way she would be able to catch up to Maverick was to have Chet run out of ammunition, so that while she tried to come up to the side of the car the Hazzard County Sheriff's department wouldn't get their fool heads shot off. So she waited a moment and then moved the cruiser back to the other side of the road. Chet fired off two rounds, one skimming across the hood, the other missing completely.
The Fury disappeared out of site for a moment and then came back one last time. Chet finished off what was left in the gun, blowing out a headlight and hitting the top of the windshield before running out of the bullets. The gun only clicked when he continued to pull the trigger. He made a face in disgust and slid back into the car.
"Alright," MaryAnne said.
Both Rosco and Enos looked now.
"How do we stop them?" Rosco asked. "Maverick ain't exactly a slouch of a car."
"Um..." MaryAnne paused. Rosco was right, Maverick's 8 cylinders and five speed transmission was enough of an advantage over the Fury's 8 and only three speeds, that MaryAnne knew she could do no more than follow the car till it ran out of gas, or she figured a way to out smart them.
She glanced down at the floor of the patrol car and spotted the four yellow canisters neatly lined up in the middle.
"That's it," she said, grabbing one of them. She held it up for Rosco to see. "Think this'll do the trick?"
He looked at it and then took it. "It'll surely bring a tear to their eyes, that's for sure." He removed the safety tape and looked at MaryAnne.
"I'm gonna try to bring it up along the side," she said. "Throw it in back if you can."
MaryAnne stepped on the accelerator as Rosco rolled down the back window.
Dwight and Chet were watching the patrol car coming closer. Chet then lightly hit Dwight on the arm. "Run her off the road, man."
Just as the front of the patrol car was coming even with the driver door of the Firebird, Dwight slid Maverick over, slamming into the Fury.
"What the--dagnabbit!" MaryAnne exclaimed. "They're scuffin' MY vehicle!" MaryAnne held on to the steering wheel as Maverick slammed into her again. She stepped down on the accelerator and pushed it all the way to the floor. She glanced back to see if Rosco had a clear shot.
He did and he pulled the pin out of the canister and threw the canister out the window and into the back seat of the Firebird.
"What the hell--?" Chet looked back to see what it was Rosco had thrown. White smoke started to stream from the back floor.
Chet started hacking. "Stop the car, Dwight," he managed to choke out before he turned back in the passenger seat.
MaryAnne let off the throttle and pulled in behind the Firebird.
Dwight wasn't sure what was going on, until he saw the smoke out of the corner of his eye.
"What is THAT?!" he exclaimed looking towards his partner. Chet already had his eyes closed and was still hacking. Soon, Dwight's eyes started to sting and he blinked several times. His eyes were soon so full of tears that he couldn't see the road and he managed to bring the Firebird to a swerving stop by the side of the road.
MaryAnne drove past Maverick and turned the patrol car around. She drove back to where the two crooks were stumbling out of the car and brought the cruiser to a quick stop.
Enos and Rosco jumped out of the patrol car and did their official duty. MaryAnne stepped out of the car, but felt funny doing anything official while still dressed in her waitress uniform. She smiled as she watched Enos and Rosco bring the two thieves over to the patrol car and had them place their hands on the hood.
Enos pulled out his Miranda card and started to read. "Y'all have the right to remain quiet..."
Rosco rolled his eyes. "Enos..."
"No, let him finish," MaryAnne said. "This is gonna be all legal, all the way. Go ahead Enos."
"Y'all have the right to remain quiet," Enos started again as Rosco went about cuffing the two. "Anything y'all say can and will be used against y'all in a court of law. Y'all have the right to talk to a lawyer and have the lawyer present with you while y'all are being questioned. If y'all can't afford to hire a lawyer, one will be appointed to represent ya before any questioning if you wish. You can decide at any time to exercise these rights and not answer any questions or make any statements."
"That means if ya decide to talk to us, you can still shut up at any time," MaryAnne clarified. She could recall several times where the wording of that particular right resulted in some cases she worked on in Atlanta to be thrown out of court, because the defendent didn't understand that they could stop talking after they had started.
Enos nodded. "Do you understand each of these rights that I have read to y'all?"
Dwight and Chet nodded, not that they had much of a choice.
Can you imagine the predicament Rosco and Enos would be in if somebody said they didn't understand the rights?
By this time, Cletus had finally caught up to all the excitement. He always was the last one to know and the last one to show on just about everything anyway.
After bringing his patrol car to a stop, Cletus got out and quickly ran over to the scene.
"Woah, Cletus," MaryAnne said, grabbing a hold of his arm. "We've got everything under control."
"But--" He looked at the two crooks and at Rosco and Enos.
"They're all cuffed," Enos said.
"And ready to be stuffed," Rosco added.
Cletus paused a moment. "Awww flapjacks on a Ferris wheel. You mean, I don't get to do nothin'?"
MaryAnne shook her head. "Well, not right now. You and Rosco here can escort these two back to town in a minute tho'."
"The money!" Rosco exclaimed suddenly. He stepped over to Maverick and looked in the car. MaryAnne came around the patrol car as he looked.
"Please tell me it's there," she said.
"It is," he replied inside the car. He then came back out the window with the small canvas money bag in hand.
"Alright," MaryAnne cheered and took the bag from Rosco. She then turned to the two thieves.
"Um...what was that you said about how rippin' off the Boar's Nest would be as easy as robbin' the electronics store?" She smiled and winked at them and then looked at the other three members of the Hazzard County Sheriff's department.
"Alright, fellas, let's stuff 'em."
Boss couldn't have been happier when Rosco, MaryAnne, Cletus and Enos returned to town with the two crooks, the money from the Boar's Nest and an idea of where all the stolen electronics had ended up, which was an old barn at the edge of the county line. When Cletus and MaryAnne checked it out later, for sure that's where everything was.
Of course now Boss was faced with a dilemma. The Hazzard County Sheriff's Department had now grown to three deputies, a feat Boss swore would never happen back when he allowed Rosco to hire Enos some eight years ago. Back then it was just to be one deputy and on deputy only.
"Do you really have to fire Cletus?" MaryAnne asked. All four law officers were lined up in front of Boss's desk in his office. "I mean, having three deputies in the department isn't all that bad."
"What?" Boss said. "Just yesterday you said I was nuts 'to have three idiots in the Sheriff's department.'"
MaryAnne made a face. "Yeah, I know. But I was upset. Besides, when you stop and think about it, you've got four idiots in the Sheriff's department right now."
"And the one less, the better," Boss said.
"Aw, now that's not fair," MaryAnne said. "Give me one good reason why Cletus can't stay on as a deputy?"
"It's too expensive for one thing!" Boss exclaimed. "All them withholding taxes and employer taxes and benefits and stuff."
All the law officers looked at each other.
"Well, Boss that ain't gonna make no difference," Rosco said. "You don't pay any benefits, or those employer taxes and the withholdin' stuff you withhold from the government anyway."
"Ooh, shame shame, everybody knows your name," MaryAnne said. "Hmmm...if we was to unionize..."
"Ah! MaryAnne! You're not threatening me are you?"
"Oh, Boss, I ain't threatenin' nothing," MaryAnne said with a smile. "But, if you was to let Cletus stay on atleast a part-time basis, it would be a big help to me, Rosco and Enos."
Boss demurred for a moment.
MaryAnne turned to Rosco. "How many years do you think he's been withholding them taxes?"
"Oh alright, alright!" Boss said. "Cletus can stay on as a part time deputy."
"Flap jacks on a Ferris wheel!" Cletus exclaimed. "Thanks, Cousin Boss."
"Well, come on ya dipsticks, we got work to do," Rosco said. Enos and Cletus started to follow Rosco towards the door. MaryAnne stayed where she was, not exactly one to respond to the word 'dipstick.'
Rosco stopped at the door and turned around to her. "That includes you," he said with a smile he couldn't hide. "Once you put on the right uniform."
MaryAnne grinned widely. "Woohoo!" Her expression suddenly returned to being serious. "Uh...I mean, yes sir, Sheriff, I'll get right on that."
Rosco rolled his eyes. "Will you just come on."
She smiled again and skipped over to the doorway, past Rosco and out into the booking room.
Rosco watched her leave and then looked at Boss.
"Well," he said. "I've certainly learned one thing from all of this."
"What's that?" Boss asked.
"If this should ever happen again, it better be your idea, not mine!"
"Doh," Boss said and then growled with disapproval.
After all that happened, I would hope neither one of them would think of firing MaryAnne again. Who would Boss hire as a new deputy then??