This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any actual resemblance to persons or historical persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The Dukes of Hazzard characters, settings, locales, ect. are owned by other entities who have not endorsed this fic nor have they given express permission for the character's use. Author makes not claims to these characters and is not making any profit from their use.
All original characters are the property of the author.
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© Copyright: 1996-2004. Lisa Philbrick
The Dukes of Hazzard
By: Lisa Philbrick
Ol' Rosco doesn't quite know what he's in for with MaryAnne's return to Hazzard. Let the adventures begin!! =)
Historical Note: This story takes place after the seventh and last season of the Dukes of Hazzard.
This is a story of a homecomin' Hazzard County style.
A young, attractive woman with long brown curly hair and blue eyes drove a royal blue 1978 Pontiac Firebird on one of the dirt roads leading to Hazzard.
That there is MaryAnne Coltrane. That's right. Coltrane. She's Rosco's cousin.
Sure is pretty though, ain't she?
Now MaryAnne was born in Hazzard and her daddy ran shine, just like everybody else's daddy ran shine. But Eli Coltrane moved the family out of Hazzard after Boss bought out all of his stills.
Even if it was only one.
Soon after MaryAnne went by Bog Road, the General Lee came out on to Mill Road and was soon behind MaryAnne.
Behind the wheel, Bo was all smiles, as usual when he saw a pretty girl. The General whistled "Dixie."
MaryAnne looked in her rearview mirror and then raised a hand through the open T-top to wave.
"Think we should pull up beside her, say hello?" Bo asked.
"I don't know. Her license plate says Coltrane," Luke replied.
"What?" Bo said, squinting his blue eyes to see the plate. "Shoot you're right. Now who possibly related to Rosco drives a car like that?"
"Well, go ahead and pull up beside her. Let's find out."
Bo brought the General up beside the Firebird. MaryAnne turned her head to look at the blonde haired driver and dark haired passenger.
"Howdy," Luke greeted.
"Hi Luke, Bo," MaryAnne replied, gave a sly smile then stepped on the accelerator and the Firebird took off with dust.
Bo brought the General Lee to an abrupt stop and looked at his cousin, having trouble finding something to say.
"I don't know," Luke said.
When the boys got to town they saw MaryAnne's car in front of the police station where they expected it to be. But MaryAnne wasn't havin' any luck findin' Rosco.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am," Enos said, "but Sheriff Rosco's out on patrol. I could call him on the CB and tell him you're here."
"Oh no, no, no. I kind of want to surprise him. Do you know where I could find him?"
"He's out at the speed trap on Ridge Road, just past the intersection with Mill Road."
"Uh, yes, Ma'am," Enos said apologetically.
MaryAnne snorted. "Well, that's Rosco alright. Okay, I think I can find it. Thanks, Enos!" She left the booking room.
Over at Cooter's garage, Bo and Luke watched as MaryAnne came out of the police station, got into her car and drove off.
"No idear who she is?" Cooter asked pushing his dirty Atlanta Braves baseball cap back on his head.
"We think she's related to Rosco," Luke said. "Her license plate says Coltrane."
"And she knew who y'all were?"
"Well, the way I figure it, if she's related to Rosco, and if Rosco knew she was comin' here to Hazzard, he probably warned her about you two."
Bo and Luke snickered, knowing Cooter wasn't necessarily talking about their run ins with the law.
"Yeah, probably," Bo said.
"Hey, there's Enos," Luke said seeing the tall deputy come out of the police station. "He can tell us who she is." Luke started to walk across the street. "Hey, Enos!"
Enos stopped and turned. "Hey Luke, hi Bo, hey Cooter."
Well, the boys found out from Enos about MaryAnne bein' Rosco's cousin and how she was headin' out to find Rosco at the Ridge Road speed trap. I hope Rosco recognizes her before he gives her ticket.
MaryAnne brought her Firebird to a stop a few yards from where Rosco was parked behind the trees and bushes. She could see the white cruiser in between the leaves and branches that revealed the car when the breeze picked up.
MaryAnne smiled, put her car in gear and jammed the accelerator to the floor. Kicking up dirt, the Firebird lunged forward and sped by Rosco in a cloud of dust.
"Woof!" Flash barked.
"I saw it," Rosco said, "at least, I think I did."
Rosco brought the patrol car out of the woods and proceeded to chase the Firebird.
Hearing the siren and seeing the lights in her rearview mirror, MaryAnne downshifted so Rosco could catch up.
"Ha," Rosco said, seeing he was closing the gap between himself and the Firebird, "think 'cause you drive a suped up car you can get away from Rosco P. Coltrane huh?"
MaryAnne took her foot off the accelerator and let the Firebird slow down on it's own.
"Oo, look Flash, we're gonna catch 'em!" Rosco exclaimed. He came up beside the Firebird and then overtook the car, cutting in front of it and then turning the cruiser hard, blocking the road.
MaryAnne swung the steering wheel hard to avoid colliding with the cruiser and the Firebird slid to a stop.
"Ha! I gotcha!" Rosco exclaimed getting out of the cruiser.
MaryAnne calmly got out of her Firebird and stood next to the car, watching her older cousin come around the cruiser, pulling out his ticket book.
"I gotcha," he said again adding a trademark snicker, "I love it, I love it."
MaryAnne giggled as Rosco began filling out the speeding ticket. He hadn't looked up at her yet.
"See, I gotcha for speedin'. You're in big trouble now. You--" Now he looked up at her.
"Jit jit! MaryAnne?"
"Hi, cousin," she giggled. "Look who's decided to move back to Hazzard."
Rosco let out a giggle and grinned.
Well, while a Coltrane family reunion was takin' place on Ridge Road, the boys were back at the farm tellin' Uncle Jesse and Daisy about MaryAnne.
"MaryAnne Coltrane?" Jesse repeated. The Duke family were all seated at the kitchen table. "Well that's gotta be Eli Coltrane's daughter."
"Who's Eli Coltrane?" Bo asked.
"He was an ol' Ridge Runner. The only Coltrane to run shine actually. But after his Sarah Mae died he sold his still to J.D. and moved out of Hazzard; to Finchburg County."
"But that doesn't explain how she knew who we were," Luke said.
Jesse thought for a moment. "Well, he did bring her here to the farm a couple of times, but she's about the same age as you kids and at the time wasn't more than knee high to a grasshopper."
"Maybe she heard about your racin' reputation," Daisy suggested.
"Or some other reputation, as implied by Cooter," Bo said.
The Dukes laughed.
Now this bein' Hazzard County even somethin' as simple as movin' back can become pretty complicated.
Somewhere in Hazzard County, two shady looking characters were driving in a brown sedan. The driver nervously twitched his moustache, while the heavy set passenger continued to glance at the mirrors. In his hand he held a velvet black bag.
These two robbed a jewelry store in Atlanta and have nearly a quarter of a million dollars in diamonds and other sparkly rocks in that little black bag. They're about to cause so much trouble for MaryAnne I sometimes wonder why she didn't just stay in Finchburg County.
And after spendin' nearly an hour and a half talkin' to each other out on Ridge Road, Rosco had MaryAnne follow him to the Boar's Nest so he could introduce her to everybody.
Everyone at the Boar's Nest was very friendly toward MaryAnne, raising their beer glasses her way after Rosco introduced her.
"Daisy," Rosco said as he led MaryAnne over to the bar, "let the lady have whatever she likes and put it on my tab."
"Sure thing, Rosco," the brown haired waitress replied.
"Now, Rosco, I'm perfectly capable of payin' for it myself," MaryAnne protested.
"Oh tidly tudly," he said, "this is a special occasion. Don't argue with me."
"Okay," MaryAnne laughed, "I won't argue."
"I would join you," he said, "but Boss would have my hide if he caught me eatin' or drinkin' in here while on duty."
MaryAnne nodded understandingly. "Plus you have to talk to him about whatever it was he was--"
MaryAnne and Rosco flinched at the sound of Boss's voice thundering across the Boar's Nest.
"--screaming at you about on the radio," she finished turning to see Boss.
Boss Hogg stood in the doorway of his office. The big man was clad in trademark white suit, sans his jacket and Stetson hat. His cigar was off to the side of his frowned mouth and he glared at Rosco.
"Uh..." Rosco said.
"You better go talk to him before his cigar explodes or somethin'," MaryAnne said.
"Mmm," he said and headed toward Boss Hogg's office.
MaryAnne watched Rosco leave and made eye contact with Boss. His dark brown eyes regarded her a moment, but his frowned look remained intact. As he turned back to his office, MaryAnne turned back to Daisy.
"Well, nice to know Boss Hogg is still his same old charming self."
* * *
"Rosco," Boss said as soon as he closed the door. "What are you doing here at the Boar's Nest socializing when you should be out trying to find those jewel thieves so I can collect my $10,000 reward?"
"Well, Boss I was just--" Rosco stopped. The $10,000 finally registered. "Ooo, did you say $10,000?"
"Yeah, plus a 2% finders fee for those jewels that are worth nearly a quarter of a million dollars." Boss emphasized the value of the jewels.
"Oo, let's see, that would be..." Rosco tried to figure the fee in his head.
"Five thousand," Boss said blandly.
"I almost had it," Rosco spat.
"Never mind the finder's fee. If we find the robbers and the jewels we can turn in the robbers, collect the ten grand and then fence the jewels for almost double what they're worth."
"Ooo," Rosco said.
Uh-huh, I figured Boss would have somethin' like that up his sleeve.
Meanwhile, the two jewelry robbers had found the Boar's Nest and guess who's car?
Driving by the Boar's Nest the heavy set jewelry robber nearly had a coronary when he saw Rosco's patrol car parked out front.
"Jeepers, Jack, there's a cop right there!"
"Calm down, Ray. I'm gonna park behind these bushes here and then I tell you what we're gonna do."
After adequately hiding the sedan from view, Jack picked up the tool kit off the floor and took out a roll of electrical tape.
"Okay," he said pulling a strip of tape, "I'm gonna go and tape this to the underside back bumper of one of those cars, probably that blue Firebird; don't see too many of those around here. Then after we ditch this car, we'll come back and get the jewels and take that car." While he talked, Jack cut several strips of tape and placed them on the black bag leaving tails long enough to stick to something else.
"What if that car's not there when we come back?" Ray asked.
"We'll ask around about it. Say it looks like a friend's car, find out where it went."
"You sure this'll work?"
"It's better than waitin' to get caught drivin' this thing," Jack said and got out of the sedan.
"I hope you're right," Ray said.
With nobody outside the Boar's Nest, Jack was able to quickly affix the bag to the underside of MaryAnne's car. When he finished he quickly scurried back to the sedan.
"All set," he said. "We'll ditch this thing and come back." He put the car in reverse, backed out of the bushes and drove off.
A couple of moments later Bo and Luke arrived at the Boar's Nest.
"Rosco must be buyin' her lunch," Bo said seeing the patrol car and the Firebird.
"Or introducin' her to everyone and Boss," Luke said.
"Well, let's see if we can't introduce ourselves to the little lady."
Bo parked the General next to the blue Firebird. As the boys climbed out of their car they looked over the Firebird with interest.
Bo smiled. "Don't that look like the one Burt Reynolds drove?"
"Bet that would give the General a run for his money," Luke said.
When the boys got inside, Daisy greeted them.
"Hey, fellas," she said.
"Hey, Daisy," the boys said. Both were looking around the Boar's Nest.
"If your lookin' for MaryAnne, she's with Rosco in Boss's office."
"What makes you think we're lookin' for her?" Bo said.
Daisy giggled. "Come on, who else in here right now would you be lookin' for with so much interest?"
The boys chuckled and then took a seat at a table just as MaryAnne was coming out of Boss's office. They both stood up again at the same time as she walked by.
"Oh, hi again, fellas," she said.
"Hi," both boys said.
"Won't you join us?" Bo asked, pulling out a chair.
"Sure," MaryAnne replied smiling at the blonde Duke. She took a seat.
Daisy brought a couple of beers to the table. "Do you want some more root beer, MaryAnne?"
"No thanks, Daisy, I'm all set."
After Daisy placed the beers on the green checkered table cloth, she remained by the table, resting the tray on her hip against short denim shorts. The white halter she wore left little to the imagination.
"That was quite an introduction this mornin'," Luke said.
MaryAnne smiled. "Freaked you boys out didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did," Bo said.
"Well, if you're wonderin' how I knew y'all, I saw you race when you were on the Nascar circuit."
"Hey, I was right," Daisy said.
"Right?" MaryAnne queried.
"We had been tryin' to figure out how you knew us when we had no idea who you were," Luke explained. "I thought maybe Rosco had said somethin' about us."
"Oh, I see," MaryAnne said. She smiled. "Actually, Rosco has mentioned you, but he hasn't reminded me yet today only 'cause he didn't know I was comin'. Lulu's the only one who knew I was comin'."
"What brings ya to Hazzard County anyway?" Bo asked.
"I'm movin' back," MaryAnne said with a smile.
"Well alright," Bo said. He raised his beer mug. "I'll drink to that."
"So will I," Luke said, raising his glass. After taking a sip of the beer he said, "So what's ol' Rosco told you about us?"
"Oh somethin' about y'all being desperate criminals." MaryAnne rolled her eyes. "Which I find hard to believe because y'all drive a bright orange car. You can't tell me that's you're get away car?"
Bo and Luke chuckled.
"Actually," Bo said, "sometimes it is." Bo made eye contact with something or someone over MaryAnne's head. His smile faded a little.
MaryAnne looked at Luke who was looking over her head as well. She had sensed someone standing behind her and now turned to see who it was.
"Oh," she said, "is it time to go, Rosco?"
"Yes, it is."
"Okay," she said and got up from the table. Rosco was half way to the door.
"It was nice to meet y'all," MaryAnne said, shaking hands with the Dukes. She then went to catch up with Rosco.
Daisy sat down in the chair MaryAnne had sat in. "I don't know about you, but I think she's a doll," she gushed.
"She's certainly different, for a Coltrane," Luke said.
"She's certainly nice looking," Bo said, catching the glances of Luke and Daisy. "I mean, for a Coltrane."
Outside, Rosco was leaning against his patrol car, his arms folded across his chest. The sleeves of his blue uniform shirt were rolled up, as always and he looked up when MaryAnne came out of the Boar's Nest.
"Now, MaryAnne," he said, "I know I probably can't stop ya from hangin' around who ya want to hang around with, but I told ya about them Duke boys when you and I were at the academy and I'm warnin' ya again."
"Well, I appreciate your concern, Rosco, but I don't see how being ex-moonshiners is a qualification for permanent criminal status. Especially when your own uncle Eli, my father, was a moonshiner."
"Well, this is different."
"How's it different?"
"It just is. Now listen, I have to go into town and tend to some official police business. You can go to the house and unpack your stuff and I know Lulu's gonna want to see you."
"Yeah, she is," MaryAnne said. "Okay, so I guess I'll see you later then?"
"Alright," she said, pulling the latch on the door to her Firebird. Rosco started to walk around the back of his patrol car then stopped.
"Oh, MaryAnne?" he said.
"Yeah?" she replied, turning to him.
"Welcome home," he said with a smile.
She return the smile. "Thanks."
Now for those of you who thought that little black bag would stay securely in place under MaryAnne's car after drivin' over Hazzard County roads, I've got beach front property in Tennessee I'd like to sell to you.
MaryAnne pulled up in front of Boss's house and got out of her Firebird, not knowing about the black bag or that it was falling off her car.
She trotted up the walkway and on to the porch and then rang the bell. After a moment Lulu opened the door.
"MaryAnne!" she exclaimed.
"Hi, Lulu!" MaryAnne said and then she and Lulu embraced.
"When did you get here?"
"This morning. I went to see Rosco first."
"Oh, I bet he was surprised to see you."
"That he was."
"Well, come in, come in. We have so much to talk about," Lulu said letting MaryAnne into the house. "It's wonderful you're moving back to Hazzard."
Well, while a second Coltrane family reunion was taking place at Boss's house, the two jewel thieves had found their way back to the Boar's Nest.
Jack and Ray went into the Boar's Nest and up to the bar.
"Excuse me," Jack said to Daisy, "I was wondering if you could help us. We passed by here a little while ago and saw a beautiful blue Firebird we think might belong to a friend of ours. Would you happen to know where it went?"
"Yeah, it went into town a little while ago," Daisy said.
"It did? Well, we'll have to see if we can catch up to it. Thank you kindly."
"No problem," Daisy said and watched the two men leave.
Oh, Daisy, if you only knew.
Not long after, Enos had found the jewel thieve's abandoned car.
Enos found the car in a ditch and had thought maybe it had accidentally gone off the road. But when he got a closer look at it, he realized it matched the description of the car that had been seen leaving the scene in Atlanta.
After investigating the car, Enos got on his radio.
"Deputy Enos Strate calling Sheriff Rosco."
"This is the Sheriff," Rosco responded from the radio in the booking room. "What is it, dipstick?"
"Sheriff, I think I found the car that was used in that jewelry robbery in Atlanta."
"Ooo. Good work, Enos. Call Cooter and bring it to the impound yard."
Rosco went to get Boss and a few minutes later they were waiting for Enos at the impound yard, next to the courthouse.
"You know what this means, Rosco?" Boss asked as Cooter towed the sedan pass them, followed by Enos.
"The jewel thieves and the jewels are somewhere here in Hazzard, peabrain!"
"Oh, right! And you don't have to worry Boss if they come within a mile of me I'll sniff 'em out."
"Yeah, p'lice trainin'..."
"Well, you better sniff 'em out, on a count of if there's one thing I don't like, it's the smell of money in this county that ain't mine." Boss put his cigar in his mouth. "Let's take look at this car."
From across the street, Jack and Ray watched as Boss and Rosco went to look at the sedan.
Hmm, Rosco must not be down wind.
"I told you they'd find the car, and it's just the better that we ain't with it," Jack said.
"Yeah but, they must figure we're still here?"
"Well, we ain't stayin'. Let's find that Firebird and get the heck out of here."
* * *
Seated on the white Victorian couch in the living room of Boss's house, MaryAnne accepted the cup of coffee that Lulu handed to her.
"Thank you," MaryAnne said.
"Now, I thought you said you had a dog?" Lulu asked.
"I do but I didn't bring him with me. He's staying with a friend until I find a place to stay. I do feel kind of funny without him here though. He protects me."
Lulu smiled. "You and Rosco and your dogs."
"Yeah, I know it," MaryAnne said in amusement. "Only Bandit's a big dog. In fact, I've got a picture of him--oh shoot, left my purse in my car. Hold on, I'll be right back."
MaryAnne trotted out of the house and across the street to her car. She got in, grabbed the purse and upon getting out was greeted by the barrel of a gun.
"Don't move," Jack said.
You know, I'm wondering if MaryAnne should really be related to the Dukes instead of to Rosco.
"Get in the car, Ray," Jack commanded.
"But what about the--" Ray started, gesturing to the back of the Firebird.
"We ain't got time for that now, get in the car. You too," Jack said waving the gun at MaryAnne.
"Listen, " MaryAnne said, "if you fellas want my car, just take it."
"Just shut up and get in."
MaryAnne obliged and got in but not before catching a glimpse of Lulu watching from the front window. The large woman then disappeared from the window and came out of the door yelling at the two men to let MaryAnne go. Jack scrambled into the Firebird and peeled away.
The Firebird roared pass the impound yard catching the attention of Boss, Rosco, Enos and Cooter as they were coming out. Little did Jack realize that the little black bag had fallen off MaryAnne's car and tumbled to Boss's feet.
As Boss picked up the bag, Enos said to Rosco, "Wasn't that your cousin MaryAnne's car?"
"Yeah, it was," Rosco said watching the car tear out of the square.
"Well, why were those two men driving it?"
Before Rosco could respond Boss had opened the bag and broke into joyful laughter.
"The jewels, Rosco! The jewels!" he exclaimed showing Rosco the contents of the bag.
Rosco, however, was still trying to find an answer to Enos's question.
"Uh, Boss, where'd you find those?" Rosco asked.
"On the ground. I think they fell off of--"
"MaryAnne's car," all three said.
"Possumonagumbush Sheriff, if them two men are the jewel thieves, MaryAnne might be in trouble," Enos said.
Rosco was about to run to his patrol car when Lulu came hurrying toward them.
"Rosco! J.D! Oh this is terrible. Two men just kidnapped MaryAnne!"
"What?!" Boss, Rosco and Enos all said at the same time.
"Kidnapped her!?" Boss said. "Lulu, honey, are you sure?"
"I saw it with my own eyes, J.D. One of the men pulled a gun on her!"
That was all Rosco needed to hear. "Come on, Enos!" he exclaimed. He and Enos scrambled to their patrol cars and tore out of the impound yard.
"Go get 'em y'all!" Cooter shouted.
"Oh no," Boss whined both in concern for MaryAnne and knowing he wouldn't be able to fence the jewels now.
Meanwhile, Bo and Luke saw the Firebird tearing across country.
"Wonder where she's going?" Bo said.
"She seems to be in a big hurry to get there," Luke said. He picked up the CB mike.
"MaryAnne, this is Luke Duke. Where are you in such a hurry to go?"
No response came. The Firebird continued to tear up the country side.
"Maybe she has her CB on a different channel?" Bo suggested.
Luke turned the channel on the CB and picked up Enos.
"...they've gotten too much of a head start, Sheriff, and MaryAnne's car is too fast for us."
"I know that, Enos! But they ain't gonna go far because they lost the jewels in town. Now I ain't givin' up 'cause they got MaryAnne. Are you with me or not?"
"I'm right behind you, Sheriff."
"Sounds like MaryAnne's in trouble," Bo said.
"Yeah, see if you can catch up to her," Luke said then pushed the talk button on the CB. "Enos, Rosco, this is Luke Duke. We overheard what you said. Now MaryAnne's car is on Highway 22 headin' toward Cripple Creek. We can try an catch 'em."
"Sheriff, if we cut across country at the junction at Mill Road, we can meet them at the bridge."
"You boys ain't lyin' to me, are ya?" Rosco asked.
"No, Rosco, we're not," Luke said. "Now if MaryAnne's in trouble we want to help."
"Alright," Rosco said, "Enos and I will meet you at the bridge. We're gone."
As Rosco and Enos cut across country at the junction, Bo was pushing the General Lee as hard as he could to try and catch up with MaryAnne's Firebird.
"I don't know, Luke, I don't think the General is gonna be able to overtake that Firebird. I've got my foot to the floor and I'm barely catchin' up."
Meanwhile, in the Firebird, MaryAnne was watching one of her two captors fidget.
"Jack, I think that orange car is after us," Ray said looking at the passenger side window. "You said we weren't gonna have to take hostages or hurt nobody. Now what are we gonna to do?"
"Shut up." Jack looked at MaryAnne in the rearview mirror. "Are they friends of yours?"
"Uh," MaryAnne turned back to look at the General Lee. "I don't know, I just moved here," she innocently whined.
"Doesn't matter." Jack handed the gun to his heavy set friend. "Get rid of 'em."
"But--" Ray sputtered.
Ray took the gun.
"You know I'm a bad shot."
"Well, maybe it'll be enough to scare 'em off."
Ray leaned out the window and took aim.
MaryAnne was looking around her car, furiously trying to think of something she could do to prevent Ray from hitting the boys and the General Lee, bad shot or not.
She looked down at the recliner lever on the passenger seat.
Ray fired a shot.
MaryAnne pulled the lever and pushed the seat forward, pinning Ray between the seat and the dashboard.
"Hey, ow!" Ray exclaimed. The gun dropped from his hand on to the road.
"What are you doin'!?" Jack exclaimed, grabbing at MaryAnne to try and help free his friend. In doing so he briefly loss control of the steering and the Firebird swerved.
Jack was able to throw MaryAnne back against the back seat and regain control of the swerving Firebird. He then helped unpin Ray.
"That was not a smart thing to do," Jack said to MaryAnne looking at her with his dark eyes in the rear view mirror.
"I thought no one was supposed to get hurt or be taken hostage?" she said. "You already blew one promise, I thought I'd try to help you keep the other."
"She's right, Jack. Can't we just let her go?"
"No! Not until those jewels are safely back in our possession. But, even then we may not be able to let her go."
MaryAnne stared at Jack.
Don't fret, MaryAnne. After all, you're in Hazzard County now.
"Only one shot?" Bo asked.
"They dropped the gun. MaryAnne must have done something."
The boys were soon coming up to the bridge.
"There's the bridge," Luke announced.
"And there's Rosco and Enos," Bo said as the two patrol cars came out of the clearing on the other side of the bridge and headed toward the Firebird.
As Rosco went over the bridge, Enos brought his patrol car to a stop at the end, blocking the road in case the Firebird got pass Rosco.
Jack kept the Firebird steady as Rosco came barreling toward him. At the last possible second Jack swung the car to the right and the General Lee and the patrol car swerved to avoid a head on collision but slammed into each other anyway. The Firebird hit the embankment of the creek and became airborne.
Enos watched the blue car fly over the creek and land. It then swung around and headed toward him.
Before Enos could put his car in gear to move it, Jack had the Firebird move the patrol car for him. The backend of the cruiser slipped into the creek, and the Firebird tore away.
"Shoot!" Bo exclaimed slamming the steering wheel with his hand.
Rosco could only watch the Firebird disappear down the road.
* * *
When Jack found an old abandoned farm he pulled the Firebird in the run down barn and set up shop in the old farm house.
He had Ray tie up MaryAnne and had her sit on the floor in the kitchen.
"I'm really sorry about this," Ray said quietly so Jack wouldn't hear him from the other room. He tied MaryAnne's hands behind her back. "None of this was supposed to happen. We were just going to steal the jewels and fence them."
"What jewels?" MaryAnne asked.
"The ones we stole in Atlanta. See, we dumped our car here in Hazzard after seeing yours at some place called the Boar's Nest. Jack had this brilliant idea of taping the jewels to the bottom of your car and then coming back for it after dumping the other one."
"Why didn't you just take my car? Why'd you take me?"
"I don't know. Insurance, I guess. He said no one was going to get hurt," Ray whined. He finished tying MaryAnne up and left her alone in the kitchen and joined Jack in the other room.
After the boys and Rosco got Enos out of the creek they returned to town and went to Boss's house to figure out what happened and how to help.
Lulu was almost in hysterics as she explained to everyone what she saw happened.
"She went out to her car and then they came up and pulled a gun on her," she sobbed. "They drove away when I came out."
"The jewels fell off her car when they drove past the impound yard," Enos added. "We figure they're the ones that got stolen in Atlanta."
"The jewels fell off her car?" Luke asked.
Enos nodded. "It looks like the bag was taped to the car somehow."
"What were they doing on her car to begin with?" Bo asked.
"They must have put them on before getting rid of their other car," Enos said. "Probably when she was at the Boar's Nest 'cause that's near where I found that sedan. They probably either walked or hitch-hiked back to town to look for her car."
Daisy gasped. "No. I just remembered. Two men came into the Boar's Nest asking about her car. And I told them where it went. Oh, Lulu I'm sorry."
"Now, Daisy, it's not your fault. How were you to know?"
"So when they found it in town they took off without getting the jewels off the car first," Luke concluded.
"But why'd they take MaryAnne?" Lulu asked.
"Probably in case they lost the jewels, which they did," Luke said. "Which means they're probably gonna to want to make an exchange."
* * *
"Are you sure the fat guy in the white suit picked them up?" Jack asked Ray. They stood now in the kitchen with MaryAnne still seated on the floor.
"I'm sure. I saw it in the side mirror."
"Do you know who it is?" Jack asked MaryAnne.
"That would be the County Commissioner, J.D. Hogg," she replied.
"And who's the Sheriff?"
"Rosco P. Coltrane."
"I thought you said you just moved here?" Ray asked.
"I did. Rosco's my cousin."
"Your cousin?" Jack said amusingly. "Well then, he should be quite willing to want to make an exchange of you for the jewels." Jack glanced at Ray. "Get her on her feet and bring her out to the car," he commanded and walked out of the farm house to the barn.
After a couple of moments, Ray escorted MaryAnne out of the house and to the barn.
Jack was standing next to the Firebird with the CB mike in his hand.
"What's the police frequency?" he asked.
"Nine, I think," MaryAnne replied.
Jack leaned in through the window and changed the channel.
When he came out he handed the CB mike to MaryAnne.
"Call your cousin," he said.
MaryAnne looked at him for a moment then took the CB mike in her free hand and pushed the talk button.
"Breaker, breaker, this is MaryAnne Coltrane callin' Sheriff Rosco Coltrane. You got you're ears on, cousin? Come back."
Everyone in Boss's living room reacted when MaryAnne's voice came over the CB.
Rosco lunged to the CB set and fiddled with the mike.
"This is Rosco," he blurted when he finally got a grip on the mike. "MaryAnne, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, Rosco. I'm okay. But there's someone here who wants to talk to you." She handed the mike to Jack.
"Sheriff Coltrane? You and I each have something the other person wants. I've got your cousin, you've got my jewels. I'm willing to make an exchange."
"Listen,--" Rosco started. Luke grabbed Rosco's arm to keep him from saying something that could jeoporidze the chance to get MaryAnne back. He then gestured for Rosco to agree to make an exchange. As much as Rosco wanted to tell Jack off, he relented. "Alright," Rosco replied to Jack.
"We can make the exchange at Stone Hollow Lake in one hour," Jack said, looking at the map he had pulled out of MaryAnne's glove box. "You will come alone. And I wouldn't think of trying to do anything funny, especially if you want to see your cousin alive ever again. Is that understood?"
"I--I understand," Rosco said.
"Good. Is there anything you'd like to say to your cousin?"
"MaryAnne, you just sit tight. I'll get you out of this."
"I know you will, Rosco," MaryAnne said.
"Stone Hollow Lake, one hour, by yourself. Over and out." Jack threw the CB mike back into the car. He then grabbed MaryAnne and escorted her back to the farm house.
"Stone Holler Lake," Bo said. "There's only two roads leadin' to that."
"I know," Luke replied, "and part of one runs along a cliff above the lake."
"What are you sayin'?" Bo asked.
"What I'm sayin' is I'm not sure they're gonna turn MaryAnne over that easily considerin' she can identify them as the jewel thieves from Atlanta," Luke said.
"You don't think they might try to...?" Rosco said, and drew a finger across his throat.
"It's possible," Luke said.
"Oh dear!" Lulu exclaimed.
"You got an idear, Luke?" Jesse asked.
"It's not much, but it's better than nothin'. Here's what we gotta do..."
Luke's plan basically consisted of havin' everyone ride shotgun on Rosco. Without bein' seen by the jewel thieves of course.
Daisy and Cooter went down to the edge of the lake, below the cliff in case MaryAnne got pushed over while Bo and Luke, Uncle Jesse and Enos along with Boss set up road blocks at the intersection of the road leadin' to the lake.
Rosco brought his patrol car to a stop in the middle of the intersection while the General, Jesse's pickup and Enos's patrol car parked in their positions.
Rosco picked up the CB mike and put a piece of tape over the talk button.
"If you can, try to hang it out the window," Luke said from the General.
Rosco nodded and placed the CB mike on the seat between him and Flash.
"You ready, Flash?" he asked.
"Woof!" the basset hound replied.
"Okay, here we go," he said and put the patrol car in gear and drove off. When he disappeared around the turn, Luke turned on the General's CB.
When Rosco came around the corner, he saw MaryAnne's Firebird parked off the side of the road and Jack, MaryAnne and Ray standing on the other side near the cliff. Rosco brought the patrol car to a stop a few feet away and put it in park. Before cutting the engine he said, "Okay, Flash, you know what to do."
Slowly, Rosco got out of the car. He closed the door and started to walk toward them when Jack said, "Hold it, Sheriff. Get rid of the gun."
Rosco stopped and then stepped back to the open window, never taking his eyes off Jack. He took his pearl handled gun out the holster and slowly placed it inside the car. Still looking at Jack, Rosco tapped his hand on the inside panel of the door. Flash responded by picking up the CB mike in her mouth and then dropping it in Rosco's open hand. As Rosco began to step forward and away from the car he brought the mike out the window and let it dangle in front of the outside mirror, using the mirror to block it so Jack and Ray wouldn't see it.
Casually, Rosco walked back to the front of the patrol car.
"You have the jewels, of course?" Jack asked.
Rosco had had them in his hand the whole time. He raised the little bag for Jack to see.
Jack smiled. "I'll take those," he said putting his hand out.
"Not so fast," Rosco said. "Why don't you let her go first."
"I can't do that. The blood's a little too thick here. How do I know the two of you won't try to turn on my partner and I?"
Rosco rolled his eyes. "For starters, you got her all tied up."
"Yeah," MaryAnne said, "I'm no help to him."
Jack thought for a moment. "No," he said. "I have a better idea. You put the jewels on the ground and on the count of three we'll move away from the girl and you move away from jewels."
"Well, before we do that, I'd feel better if you didn't have her so close to the edge," Rosco said.
Luke was nodding in the General. "That's it, Rosco, get her away from the edge if you can."
"Alright," Jack said and took a tiny step forward. MaryAnne and Ray followed. Rosco noticed the gleam of fishing line that was tied around his cousin's brown boots and blue jean cuffs.
"A little more," he said.
As the three moved forward again, Rosco took a step back.
Rosco got Jack to move forward a couple more steps before Jack said, "This is enough. Put the jewels on the ground and let's get this over with."
Rosco placed the black bag down on the ground at his feet.
"Alright," Jack said, "on three."
In the General Lee, Bo and Luke listened to Jack count off.
On three, Rosco moved away from the jewels while Jack and Ray moved away from MaryAnne and toward the jewels.
Rosco took two steps toward MaryAnne while watching Ray pick up the bag. Jack suddenly doubled back and tried to push MaryAnne over the edge.
Not being able to use her feet to catch her balance MaryAnne screamed as she fell backwards. When she landed, half of her was hanging over the cliff, the other half still on the ledge. A weight on her legs kept her from falling over completely.
Bo and Luke looked at each other when they heard the scream. Bo was about to start the General when they heard the Firebird's engine roar and gears jam as it threw dirt and gravel.
"Here they come," Luke announced as the Firebird tore around the corner.
"Jack!" Ray exclaimed, seeing the three vehicles blocking the other roads.
"Hang on," Jack said. "We did it once, we can do it again."
Jack pushed his foot to the floor and steered the Firebird toward a dip in the road.
Enos's patrol car was the only thing in the way of the Firebird. Remembering what happened earlier, Enos started to scramble out of the car, calling for Boss to do the same.
"Mr. Hogg!" Enos squealed.
Boss was staring mesmerized at the blue Firebird that was hurtling towards him. He finally scrambled across the front seat and clammered out of the car, running with Enos towards the trees.
The Firebird hit the dip and leapt into the air. The incline, however, was uneven, and the car tipped to the right, barely skimmed over the hood of Enos's car and then landed hard on the right front tire. A loud snap and crunch emanated from under the Firebird as it dove into the dirt. The backend continued to fly forward, turning the nose of the car in the earth and then slamming to the ground on it's left side. The car rocked a little, then finally settled, the right front tire crookedly spinning in a lazy way. One of the dual mufflers let go of the tail pipe and dangled unattractively.
The boys and Enos ran around to the other side of the Firebird where Ray and Jack were climbing out of the T-top. Luckily for the two crooks, they weren't thrown from the car.
Bo and Luke each grabbed a thief as Enos fumbled with his handcuffs.
"I don't think MaryAnne's gonna be to happy with you fellas for what you did to her car," Luke said.
I don't think MaryAnne's concerned about that right now,Luke.
MaryAnne was still hanging over the edge of the cliff.
Rosco had tried to grab his young cousin to keep her from going near the edge to begin with. He was lucky enough to catch her legs and keep her from tumbling over the ledge. Now he was trying to grab her arm so he could pull back up. But with her hands tied it was difficult to reach her arm.
Daisy and Cooter could only anxiously watch from below.
"MaryAnne, I can't reach your arm."
"If I could give it to you, I would."
Rosco stretched to reach. Suddenly, he and MaryAnne slid forward a bit.
"Doh! Jit jit."
Pieces of dirt and pebbles tumbled down to the lake. Rosco grabbed on to an old tree root as his hat went sailing down to the water. The root stretched but held against the pull of both Rosco and MaryAnne.
Daisy clutched Cooter's arm. "Cooter, they're gonna fall!"
"Watch 'em. I'm gonna see if I can get the boys on the CB to get to 'em."
Cooter ran over to Daisy's Jeep. He grabbed the mike and did his familiar call to the boys.
Rosco's CB, however, was jamming the channel, the talk button still being held by the tape.
Cooter tossed the mike and climbed into the Jeep. He tore off.
Rosco and MaryAnne were trying to stay still so as not to slide any further.
"Rosco, you're gonna have to let go. We'll both fall into the lake."
"MaryAnne, I can't let you go fallin' in. You're all tied up. You won't be able to swim."
"If we both fall we could get hurt--" They slid again.
Rosco tried to dig the toes of his boots into the ground.
"I ain't lettin' go!"
The boys, Jesse, Enos and Boss were still congratulating themselves when they saw Cooter tearing down the road from the lake in the Jeep. As he came closer to them he yelled out, "Rosco and MaryAnne are hanging off the ledge!"
The boys ran to the General and the car threw dirt and gravel down the road following Cooter. When they came around the corner, and got past Rosco's patrol car, they saw him barely hanging on to MaryAnne, a slew of dig marks by his boots. The boys scrambled out of the General and ran to help.
"Okay, Rosco, we've got ya," Luke said as he and Bo grabbed Rosco and pulled him back away from the ledge. Cooter grabbed MaryAnne and, with Rosco, brought her over the ledge.
"Oo. Oh. That scuffed me," Rosco said.
The boys used their knives to cut the fishing line and the rope that was around MaryAnne's hands.
"You all right, MaryAnne?" Bo asked.
MaryAnne sat up, throwing the ropes off her hands. "Yes. Oh, thank you so much!" she exclaimed to the boys and Cooter. She then looked at Rosco and gave him a hug.
Rosco smiled. "Would I have let you fall?"
MaryAnne laughed. "No, but you probably would have went with me."
The boys and Cooter chuckled as MaryAnne and Rosco let go.
"Oh, boy, I don't ever wanna do that again!" she exclaimed.
Friends and neighbors, I do believe we've just seen a side of Rosco we ain't never seen before. Then again, MaryAnne is his kin.
That $10,000 reward for capturing them two jewel thieves was split between the Dukes and MaryAnne and the Dukes used their half to fix the busted fender of the General. MaryAnne's half however, didn't even begin to cover the repairs needed for her car, but Cooter still agreed to fix it even though it would take him awhile.
Now after all she'd been through, Rosco and everybody else thought for sure MaryAnne would want to leave Hazzard County and that night at the Boar's Nest they were all prepared to try and convince her to stay.
Turned out they didn't have to.
"I suppose it would be ridiculous to ask if you plan on staying in Hazzard?" Rosco asked.
"Stay in Hazzard?" MaryAnne snorted. "Stay in Hazzard? Rosco, I was kidnapped, held hostage, dang near thrown off a cliff, my car was stolen, my car was smashed and you've got the gall to ask me if I plan on staying in Hazzard? Well, let me answer that question." She paused. "Yes, I do plan on staying in Hazzard."
Everyone who surrounded the table cheered.
"MaryAnne, we thought for sure you'd want to get the heck out of here after all that," Luke said.
"Well, you know, I thought of goin' back to Finchburg, but y'all saved my life so I figured you wouldn't mind me stayin'," MaryAnne said with a smile. "Besides, I ain't done nuthin' that excitin' since my father's last three moonshine runs," she giggled.
You know, if I were her, I wouldn't leave either.