This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any actual resemblance to persons or historical persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

The Dukes of Hazzard characters, settings, locales, ect. are owned by other entities who have not endorsed this fic nor have they given express permission for the character's use. Author makes not claims to these characters and is not making any profit from their use.

All original characters are the property of the author.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the author or any legally assigned agents of the author.

Copyright: 1996-2004. Lisa Philbrick

The Dukes of Hazzard
Find General Lee
By: Lisa Philbrick

 


General, General, who's got the General??



The lone white Plymouth Fury crept out of the woods and began it's travel back to town. Deputy MaryAnne Coltrane yawned and shook her head, wondering how she had let herself fall asleep and why Rosco hadn't been calling on the radio for her.

Friends and neighbors, you wanna talk about bein' in the right place at the right time? Well, MaryAnne hit the mark, twice, and helped the Dukes save one of their best friends.

General Lee.

Just before getting to town, MaryAnne spotted the orange Dodge Charger that belonged to the Dukes. Bo and Luke were heading out to do some fishing, she could tell. Sticking out the drivers side window at the back of the car were two fishing poles with bright colored bobs on them. She smiled and put her hand out the window to wave to the boys as they passed. They waved back and the General whistled "Dixie" in the distance.

Now before y'all think that another Coltrane driving General Lee can't be anything more than pure disaster, y'all pay attention. It all started when MaryAnne overheard Boss Hogg and Rosco talkin' in Boss's office. Y'all know MaryAnne don't like it when Rosco's up to something crooked and friends, this time was no exception.

MaryAnne stepped into the booking room with Bandit, her German Shepherd. The dog went to his usual spot on the floor, just below the front windows and settled down. MaryAnne took her deputy's hat off and placed it down on the bench that was
below the booking desk. Seated on the bench, keeping guard over the Sheriff's station was Flash.

"Hey sweetie," MaryAnne said, giving Flash a pat on the head.

"Oh Rosco will you use that brain of yours for something other than a paper weight!" Boss exclaimed.

"Well..." Rosco said.

MaryAnne turned her head slightly towards Boss's office door, which was half way open. Quietly, she stepped towards the door.

"We've already got a car that they can use," Boss continued, placing his cigar in his ashtray.

"We do?"

Boss nodded and then smiled like the Cheshire cat. "The General Lee."

"But Boss, we don't own General Lee. See, them Dukes do and I don't think they'd be to particular on this."

"Oh Rosco! Peabrain, think about it! We WILL own that orange clunker car when you give them Duke boys a speedin' ticket and they DON'T pay it."

Rosco paused, letting it sink in.

"Oooh! They forfeit the General!" he exclaimed.

"Right!"

"Ooo khee khee!"

"Only you ain't gonna do it yet."

"I ain't?"

"No, on account of them fellas don't need the car until Friday." Boss shook his head. "I don't want to have to hang on to that infernal thing for too long. Them Dukes will mess up everything if they try to get the car back."

"How could they mess it up?"

"Well, by paying for the speedin' ticket! The less amount of time they have to get the money, the better."

Rosco nodded in agreement.

Outside the door, MaryAnne rolled her eyes. She shook her head, wondering what the magic spell was to stop Boss and Rosco from all their old tricks. She turned back towards the booking room and walked to the booking desk. Boss and Rosco were still talking but MaryAnne just didn't want to listen anymore. So she blocked them out and concentrated on sorting through the wanted posters, checking the supply list and figuring the patrol schedule for the following week.

Well, MaryAnne seems to be handling it pretty well. Y'all should have seen her when she first learned that Rosco wasn't as honest a lawman as he once was. Mmm, not a pretty sight.

A few moments later, Enos came into the booking room. He took a moment to greet the puppies and then looked at MaryAnne.

"Hi, MaryAnne."

MaryAnne looked up from her work. "Hi, Enos," she said with a sigh.

Enos raised an eye brow, detecting something was wrong. "What's the matter?" he asked.

MaryAnne's shoulders slumped a bit and she placed her pen down. "That dang cousin of mine is in there with Boss plotting yet another dirty trick against them Dukes."

"Oh," Enos said. He took off his deputy's hat and stepped up to the holding area. He sighed sympathetically an said, "They've been doin' that for years, MaryAnne."

"Yeah, I know." MaryAnne propped her elbow on the desktop and dropped her chin into the palm of her hand. "It just drive me nuts. I wish there was someway I could get Rosco to turn back to the law man he was. I mean, you remember what he used to be like. Don't you wish he'd go back to that?"

Enos nodded. "Sheriff Rosco was one of the best in the state."

"Exactly. What is he now? The most crooked? The most dishonest? The WORST Sheriff in the state??" MaryAnne shook her head. "I don't know who to blame more, Boss or Rosco." The two officers were quiet for a moment. Then MaryAnne looked at Enos. "Well, you don't need to heard about all that," she said. "You wanna take a look at this patrol schedule?" MaryAnne handed the sheet to Enos as Rosco came out of Boss's office.

The Sheriff approached his two deputies. Enos looked at Rosco.

"Howdy, Sheriff."

"Hi, Enos. MaryAnne."

MaryAnne completely ignored her cousin. After Enos finished looking at the schedule he handed it back to MaryAnne.

"That schedule's fine with me," he said.

MaryAnne nodded. "Alright."

"Is that the patrol schedule?" Rosco asked.

MaryAnne only responded by handing him the sheet. She didn't even look at Rosco and picked up the supply order list and went to the clipboards that were hanging behind the desk next to the holding cell.

Rosco looked at Enos. The deputy only shrugged, knowing it wasn't his place to get involved and tell Rosco what was bothering MaryAnne.

Friends and neighbors, that's about the most conversation Rosco and MaryAnne had for awhile. And ol' Rosco didn't have much luck later when he tried to talk to MaryAnne before she left to go work at the Boar's Nest. But, at least she actually talked to him then.

MaryAnne came out of the courthouse, dressed in dark green short shorts and a dark green, dark blue and white plaid shirt. She had her deputy's uniform on a hanger and wrapped in plastic and she walked to Maverick, who was parked up the street towards the impound.

When she got to the car, she had no more than hung the uniform on the hook in the back of the Firebird when Rosco came out of the courthouse.

"MaryAnne?" he called as he hurried towards her before she could get into the car.MaryAnne stopped and slightly turned to Rosco as he came up to her.

"What the heck has gotten into you?" he asked. "I'm beginning to wonder if you've suddenly stopped acknowledging my existence."

MaryAnne faced him in a shot. "Considerin' what I overheard today, you're lucky I'm talkin' to you right now!"

"What do you mean?"

"I overheard you and Boss talkin' about stealing a certain orange car."

Rosco's jaw dropped a bit. "Oh," he said.

MaryAnne watched him drop his gaze. "Yeah," she said. "Oh." She turned and got into Maverick, not giving Rosco a chance to explain.

"MaryAnne, wait--" but whatever Rosco had to say was drowned out by Maverick's 8 cylinder engine turning over. The blue Firebird drove off out of town.

* * *

MaryAnne stood with pad of paper and a pencil in hand by the table where Bo and Luke Duke were seated. They were locked in an arm wrestling match and she looked back and forth between the two boys, smiling.

"Um, is this to decide who's going to order or who's going to pay?"

"Nope," Bo replied through gritted teeth.

MaryAnne watched them for a moment more. Their arms were dead center.

"Well, now," she said and fluttered her eye lashes. "One of y'all ain't tryin' to impress me are ya? You know I just couldn't stand to see two handsome fellas like yourselves fightin' over little ol' me." She giggled.

The boys both chuckled as well and Luke's arm went down a little bit, but he stopped it and fought back.

"No," Luke said. "We're trying to decide who's gonna drive the General in the Choctaw Classic on Saturday."

"You boys are back on the dirt track circuit? Whatever for, especially after bein' on the NASCAR circuit?"

"Because we need money," Bo said. "Like the $500 prize, so Uncle Jesse can get the new starter for the tractor and pay the mortgage to Boss Hogg."

"Oh," MaryAnne said and nodded. "I can understand that." She watched the boys continue their battle, but her gaze was a bit out of focus.

MaryAnne's thinkin' about what she overheard earlier. Ol' Boss would get himself a double whammy with takin' General Lee AND preventing Jesse from makin' the mortgage payment, thus gettin' the Duke farm. Hmmm...

MaryAnne snapped out of her stare in time to watch Bo's arm go down to the table.

"Ah!" Bo exclaimed and then looked at his cousin and laughed.

"We have a winner!" MaryAnne exclaimed with a giggle. "Y'all want beer now?"

"Yeah," Luke said. "Thanks, MaryAnne."

"Sure thing." MaryAnne walked back to the bar to get the beers.

Bo chuckled. "Can you imagine us, fightin' over MaryAnne?"

"Why not? She's a pretty girl."

"Well, sure. But I'm thinkin' of what ol' Rosco would do!"

Luke snickered. "Probably put us under the jail."

Bo laughed.

MaryAnne returned a moment later with the beers.

"Here ya go, fellas," she said, placing a mug down in front of each Duke boy.

"Thank ya," Bo said.

MaryAnne watched the boys pick up their mugs and sip the beer.

"Wow," Luke said, "that's good and cold."

"Well, I don't know about good, but it is cold," MaryAnne said. "Daisy and I tinkered around with the thermostats on the kegs after getting too many customers complaining about how warm the beer was."

The boys chuckled.

"Do you think you could tinker with the taste?" Bo asked.

"That was my next project. I'll let ya know if I'm successful." She have the boys a wink and headed off to take other orders.

Remember what I said about MaryAnne being in the right place at the right time twice? Well, the second time's comin' up.

Ya see, when you're at a place like the Boar's Nest you may want to be careful about who and what you talk about, because you don't know who may be listenin'.

And if you start talkin' about Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, well, his cousin may be listenin'. Despite bein' madder than a wet hen at him for what she heard earlier, MaryAnne still wouldn't want to let something happen to her cousin.

MaryAnne walked from the bar towards the booths on the back wall, opposite the entrance. She smiled as she delivered the beers and as she placed each mug down, she caught a bit of the conversation at the next booth, clearly recognizing the word 'sheriff' and not liking how it was being spoken.

"Are you serious?" the man who was facing towards MaryAnne said.

The other man nodded. "After we get the car, Boss Hogg and the Sheriff are gonna disappear. Permanently."

"I dunno, man. What difference is it gonna make if we bump off them two? Why don't we just get the car and take off?"

"Because Hogg would turn around and sic that Sheriff on us. He's done it before."

MaryAnne placed down her last beer and made her departure from the booth.

"That's why they have to be silenced. For good," the man finished just before MaryAnne got out of earshot.

MaryAnne returned back behind the bar and put he tray down below the bar. The tray dropped with a clatter, a little louder than the noise MaryAnne usually made, which prompted Daisy to look at the young Coltrane woman.

MaryAnne saw her out of the corner of her eye and tried to recover as much as she could.

"Ooops," she said, looking at Daisy and giving a smile to disguise her distress. "Didn't mean to drop it like that." MaryAnne then noticed the big popcorn bag was getting low, giving her a good excuse to go to the store room and pull herself together.
"I'll be right back, Daisy. I'm gonna get some more popcorn," she said as she walked fast around the bar and scurried over to the store room's doors. Once she disappeared inside, MaryAnne stopped and covered her mouth with her hand.

"I don't believe this," she whispered, slowly dropping her hand. "All this over a car!" She paused a moment, thinking of all that was relying on that 16-year-old car.

MaryAnne realized that if Boss got the General, the boys wouldn't make that race and wouldn't win the money, meanin' Jesse would probably miss the mortgage payment and lose the farm to Boss. But before all of that, ol' Boss and Rosco wouldn't even be around to foreclose on Jesse.

MaryAnne walked to the door that led to the outside of the Nest, where the dumpster was located. She stepped to the edge of the building and looked to the parking lot, spotting General Lee. She looked at the car for a long moment. A string of thoughts ran through her mind and in barely a whisper she heard her lips form the words.

"If that car were to disappear..."

MaryAnne looked off into the sky, the shuck and jive plan coming together in her mind. She wasn't going to let the Dukes lose their car, or their farm and she certainly wasn't going to let Rosco and Boss loose their lives. With a smile, she ducked back into the Boar's Nest.

* * *

When MaryAnne got off work from the Boar's Nest, she headed home to find Rosco was already there.

What's he doin' home now, I wonder? MaryAnne looked at his patrol car as she let Bandit out of the Firebird. She then grabbed her purse and uniform and walked with Bandit to the house. Once inside, MaryAnne could smell chicken cooking. Bandit trotted off to the living room to join Flash, and MaryAnne put her things down on the bottom stair step and walked to the kitchen.

Rosco heard MaryAnne's high heeled sandals on the floor as she came down the hall. He turned to the doorway an apologetic look already on his face.

MaryAnne stopped at the door way and looked at him for a moment. "You're cookin' dinner?" she asked as she came in. She saw there were two salad bowls on the counter as well.

"Why not? It's not like I ain't never done it before."

"True, but it's not your night to cook. It's mine." She took a moment to smell the aroma. "Whatchya cooking?"

"Chicken pot pie."

"Chicken pot pie?" That was one of MaryAnne's favorites, which prompted her to realize what he was really up to.

"Wait a minute," she said. "You never cook chicken pot pie because you don't like the way it comes out when you do. You like mine better."

"I know. But it's your favorite supper ain't it?"

"Yeah, it is. Which means that all of this can only mean one thing."

"What's that?"

"You're trying to apologize for something."

Rosco paused a moment, his apologetic look coming back. "Yeah, I am," he said. "MaryAnne, I'm sorry you heard what you heard today."

"Are ya sorry enough that you and Boss ain't gonna go through with it?"

"Uhh..." Rosco cringed.

"Oh Rosco." MaryAnne rolled her eyes.

"Well? MaryAnne, you know I can't stop nothin' the Boss wants to do. I mean, if he says 'Jump' I say 'How high?' Not, 'Can I think about it and I'll get back to you.'"

MaryAnne sighed.

Rosco shook his head. "I wish you had never heard it," he said.

"Rosco, you know I don't like you bein' this kind of law man. I haven't ever since that day I found out. You do remember that day, don't you?"

"Vividly."

"Yeah. I had pretty much figured that I was gonna have to turn the other cheek, pretend that I didn't know what was going on. But now, Rosco, I'm gonna have hard time living in the same house with you if I overhear more stuff like this. And why is it always them Dukes? They're just hard workin', honest folks. Can't you leave them alone for like a month or two, maybe?"

"What? No hot pursuit? Hmm..I dunno.."

"I don't mean that. Heck, you never catch 'em when you chase after them anyway so that'll never change. What I mean is with Boss and his plans to try to take something away from them all the time, like their farm. Or General Lee."

"But Boss Hogg--"

"Yeah, I know all about Boss Hogg," MaryAnne said, cutting him off. The two were silent for a spell and then MaryAnne sighed. "It ain't gonna make no difference anyway because I ain't gonna be here on Friday."

Rosco looked at her, surprised. "You ain't? Where ya gonna be?"

"Finchburg County. I figure it's about time I go back and visit some folks, and the timing couldn't be better, because I DO NOT want to be around when you're pulling this shuck and jive on the Dukes. I don't want to watch it and I don't want to be a part of it either."

Ol' Rosco's kinda lookin' like a school kid bein' scolded by a teacher, don't he?

Rosco hesitated a bit. "MaryAnne, I'm--"

"Sorry?" She eyed her cousin for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, I know, Rosco." She then glanced at the food on the counter. "Come on, let's eat. We'll just forget the whole thing." She picked up the two salad bowls and looked at Rosco again.
"For now." She then walked out to the dining room.

The thing with MaryAnne livin' in Hazzard now is that Rosco has to be careful of what he does. He knows that all the things he's done over the years to the Dukes ain't exactly the traits of an honest lawman, but before he never had somebody around to remind him of the days of that younger law man, and what he possibly threw away when he threw out the law book. So, for what would no be the last time, Rosco found himself torn between two sides of the law and at a crossroads he would have to come to again and again.

MaryAnne's attitude towards Rosco the following day was cool and reserved, which he kind of expected. But what he didn't know was that MaryAnne wasn't necessarily mad at him anymore. She was scared for his life.

Thursday afternoon, Rosco cut short his patrol and drove home to see if MaryAnne was really serious about going to Finchburg.

She was. Just as he pulled into the drive he saw her putting a small suitcase into the back seat of Maverick. She stopped and looked at him as he got out of his patrol car and approached her.

"You really are goin'?" he asked.

"Yes. Rosco, I told you that yesterday."

"Yeah, I know. But, I thought maybe you were bluffin'."

"Nope. I wasn't." She turned to get into Maverick. "See ya Saturday."

Rosco put his hand on her shoulder. MaryAnne stopped and looked at him.

"Rosco, if you're gonna apologize again--"

"No, I know you don't want to hear it. But can you at least tell me where you're gonna be?"

"Um...Finchburg County. I don't know where specifically. I may or may not stay at the inn." She looked at him, waiting to see if that answer was good enough.

It wasn't, but Rosco knew not to push the issue. He nodded and let MaryAnne get into her car. He said nothing to her and stepped back as Maverick started to back up. MaryAnne glanced at her cousin and saw his apologetic expression but he wasn't looking at her. She felt bad seeing him that way, especially since she knew his life was in danger and she couldn't tell him. She backed Maverick to the road and then slowly drove away.

Y'all probably wonderin' why MaryAnne don't just tell Rosco what she overheard at the Boar's Nest. Thing was, if she did and Boss an' Rosco didn't go through with gettin' the General, MaryAnne was worried that those two fellas would try to exact some kind of revenge and Rosco would still be in danger.

MaryAnne drove Maverick way out to the country and parked him down in a wide ditch that was shielded from view of the road by several trees and bushes. MaryAnne opened up the small suitcase and pulled out the black velvet hand bag that she still had from the Policeman's Ball she attended when she was in Atlanta. She then got out of Maverick and walked down the road, her destination: The Duke farm.

* * *

"Anything excitin' happen to you today, Daisy?" Bo asked, as Daisy placed the dinner plates out on the table.

"Nothing more than usual," Daisy said with a smile. "There were a couple of fellas hangin' around Boss's office today tho'."

"What else is new?" Luke asked.

Bo laughed. "Yeah, really."

"I guess we better be on the look out tho'," Luke said. "There's never any tellin' what Boss may be up to."


* * *

MaryAnne waited until the last light went out and for ten minutes before quietly stepping towards General Lee. The Dodge was parked in front of the barn, the nose facing the drive that was directly opposite of the farm house. MaryAnne climbed into the car and sat in thought for a moment. She tried to figure whether she should hot wire the General now or if she should attempt to push the car to the drive and then hot wire it out of the yard. The only trouble with that was with the General's doors welded shut, MaryAnne would have had a hard time jumping into the car after giving it it's initial push. And with the General's glass pack exhaust, everyone in the farm house would wake up as soon as the engine turned over.

"Ding dang it," MaryAnne muttered. She then just shook her head, not caring who heard the General start up and went about hot wiring him. She pulled her little flashlight out of her bag and a screwdriver and went to work. When she finished, she shined the light from the flashlight over her work. Content that was she did was correct, she held her breath and turned the ignition. The General turned over instantly. MaryAnne didn't waste time on a victory celebration and quickly put the car in gear and drove out of the yard.

Luke opened one eye when in his sleep he heard the familiar roar of the General. He thought he was dreaming but he could still hear it even after becoming fully awake.

He sat up suddenly, getting an awful feeling in his stomach.

"Bo, wake up!" he exclaimed as he leapt out of bed.

"Wha--?"

"I think somebody just stole the General. Come on!"

As Bo stumbled out of his bed, Luke grabbed his blue and white flannel shirt and ran out of the bed room. He thundered out through the kitchen and ran onto the porch, hitting the light switch as he did. He looked into the yard that was barely lit by the porch light and saw the General was gone.

Bo came running up behind him.

"Gone," Luke said.

"Who the heck would steal the General in the dark of night?" Bo wondered.

Luke turned to his cousin. With a disgusted look on his face he said, "I can think of one person, but Boss usually just rips us off in broad daylight." Luke then turned and went back into the farm house.

Bo sighed, agreeing with his cousin's statement and knowing they were going to be making a trip to town in the morning.

Well, the Dukes think Boss has the General, which he don't. Ain't he in for a surprise in the mornin'?

The next morning Rosco knocked on Boss's office door. He didn't wait for Boss to answer and went ahead and opened the door.

"Uh, Boss, the Dukes are here."

"So?"

Rosco dropped his voice a bit. "They say somebody stole the General Lee last night."

Boss and Rosco looked at each other, knowing it wasn't either one of them but wondering if it maybe have been the two guys Boss was supposed to have got the car for. Before either one could say anything, Rosco found himself being forced into Boss's office as Bo and Luke made their presence known to Boss.

"Jit jit," Rosco said as he stumbled to get his footing.

"Alright, Boss," Bo said. "What did you do with General Lee?"

"I don't know what you boys are talkin' about! And how dare you go pushin' poor Rosco out of the way to come bargin' in here."

"Sorry, Rosco," Luke said and then narrowed his eyes to Boss. "Somebody stole General Lee last night, right out of our yard. Now if you're tryin' to come up with someway for Uncle Jesse to miss the mortgage payment you can forget it, because we ain't gonna miss that payment."

"I ain't got that orange clunker car of yours," Boss said, finding himself speaking the truth for once in his life. "And I certainly don't need you two bargin' in here this early in the morning and accusin' me of such foolishness!"

"Yeah," Rosco said. "Believe me fellas, he ain't got it."

"Well, I hope you're right, Rosco," Luke said. "Because I've about had it with you, Boss." He then turned and headed for the door. Bo gave both Boss and Rosco one last disapproving look and followed out after Luke.

Boss scurried over to the office door and waited for Bo and Luke to leave the booking room before he closed the door. He then turned back to Rosco.

"You don't think them two fellas took the General do you?" Rosco asked.
"Well if they did, they weren't supposed to. I mean, if we ain't got that car and the Dukes ain't got it, who does?"

Rosco shrugged. "I don't know, I ain't got the answer for everything."

Boss glared at him. "You ain't got the answers for nothin'! Now git out there and find General Lee!!"

"I'm gone!" Rosco took off out of Boss's office, picking up Flash on his way out through the booking room. Boss sat back down at his desk and picked up his cigar.

Well, Boss thinks them two fellas have the General. Looks like he's in for another surprise huh?

MaryAnne was sitting in General Lee, parked under the old Garrison Road bridge. She heard the boys report to Jesse and Daisy that Boss 'apparently' didn't have the General. When the transmission ended, MaryAnne flipped to the police channel.

"...stole General Lee??" Enos squeaked.

"Yes, Enos," Rosco replied the irritation clear in his voice. "Just keep your eye out for it, okay? If you see it, call me! Don't go near it or nothin', you understand?"

"Yes, sir. But shouldn't we let Bo and Luke know when we've found it?"

"Enos! We'll let them know when it's time to let them know, you dipstick! Just do as I tell you alright? I'm gone."

"Ten-four."

MaryAnne chuckled. She then flipped the CB channel and heard the Dukes and Cooter talking about looking for the General. She then flipped it back to the police channel and the CB stayed quiet for almost an hour, until Boss broke in.

"This is J.D. Hogg callin' Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. Have you found the Gen--uh, that vehicle yet? Over."

"You mean the General Lee?" Rosco blurted.

"Rosco! Will you hush!"

"Well Boss it don't make no difference. We ain't got the car."

"Rosco, just shut up and answer my question!"

"No, we ain't found it!"

"Well then keep looking. And KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!"

"I'm gone..."

Boss put the mike down, shaking his head. Suddenly, his office door opened and the two men who were supposed to get the General Lee from Boss came in.

"Okay, Hogg, where's our car?" the tall man asked.

"I ain't got it," Boss said as he stood up. "To be honest, I thought you boys had it already."

"How could we have it already? You were supposed to get it for us."

"I know, but somebody done stole the car I was gonna git for ya."

"Well, we ain't got it." The man's eye's narrowed. "If you're trying to pull something--"

"No, no! I ain't! I swear it. Look, I've got Rosco and his deputy out there right now looking for it."

"Well then, we'll just go give him a hand." The man turned and walked out of Boss's office with his partner following.

Boss let out a sigh, taking a moment to catch his breath having thought the two wouldn't have taken the news of the General being stolen so easily. Suddenly his brown eyes widened and he grabbed up the CB mike.

"Rosco, you got your ears on?"

"Right here little fat buddy."

"Oh Rosco, never mind that little fat buddy stuff. Listen, them two--uh, traveling salesmen are looking for you and um...that vehicle."

"Traveling salesmen? Boss, I ain't got no money to spend on nothin'."

"Argh, Rosco!"

Rosco paused, wondering what he had goofed on now. Then it suddenly hit him. "Oh! You mean them two fellas who were supposed have the Gen--uh, that vee-hicle."

"Right. Listen, their headin' out to give you hand FINDING it."

"Well shoot, Boss I don't need no help finding General Lee. I know what it looks like."

"ROSCO!! You pea brain! Just hush! Argh..." Boss let out a frustrated sigh and tossed the CB mike on his desk.

MaryAnne, meanwhile, was laughing loud and hearty.

"Oh man. Don't know why I get so mad at him. He messes everything up anyway."

She leaned forward and changed the CB channel back to the Dukes.

"Uncle Jesse, how you doing?" Luke asked.

"Haven't seen a thing, Luke."

"Same here," Cooter piped in. "Listen y'all, I'm gonna head over to Willow Creek. I think there's a few spots around there to hide a car like the General."

"Ten-four, Cooter," Luke replied. "Me and Bo are gonna head up towards Stone Canyon."

"Ten-four."

MaryAnne smiled mischievously and turned in her seat slightly to look on the back floor of the General. She spotted one of the boy's orange racing helmets with the black visor and she picked it up. She put the helmet on and after adjusting the chin strap she started the General and drove off down the road.

Hang on to your hats friends and neighbors, cuz I know y'all know what's gonna happen when everyone sees that car. AND sees that nobody they thought had it was driving it.

Daisy's Jeep, Dixie, was cruising along towards Stone Canyon at a brisk pace. Luke was at the wheel and both he and Bo were scanning the country side for any sign of the General.

"I don't know, Luke, I'm starting to feel like we're lookin' for a needle in a haystack," Bo said as he turned his line of sight back to the road.

"Yeah, only it's a bright orange colored needle."

Bo paused staring at the car that came out on to the same road they were on, several hundred yards ahead of them. The car was traveling towards them and it wasn't long before Bo recognized it.

"You mean like the one headin' towards us?!"

Luke saw it too. "Holy smokes!"

MaryAnne saw the Jeep and she kept the General on a straight run to it, then cut to the other side of the road and with "Dixie" horn blaring, went flying past the Jeep.

"Let's go get 'em cousin!" Bo exclaimed.

Luke responded by swinging the Jeep around, tipping it slightly as the off road tires caught too much grip with the dirt road. Earth and dust flew out from under the back tires as the Jeep tore off after the General.

Bo picked up the CB mike. "Cooter? Uncle Jesse, Daisy? Listen up y'all, me and Luke is after General Lee right now! We're on Stone Canyon Road heading towards Route 17. We could use all the help we get here."

"Ten-four y'all, I'm on my way!" Cooter responded.

"So are we, Bo," Daisy said.

MaryAnne glanced in the General's rearview mirror, making sure to not let the Jeep get too far behind her. She led the boys on the chase and after a couple of miles, spotted Jesse Duke's Ford truck coming down one of the side roads. The General and Jeep went by and the truck followed out after.

Bo saw his uncle and cousin come out on to the road behind the Jeep. He then picked up the CB mike. "It's up to you, Cooter. Can you block the road up head of us maybe? We just passed Bog Road."

"That's an affirmative, y'all."

MaryAnne had flipped the General's CB back to the police channel so she didn't hear about the upcoming road block. She took the General through the turn, the back end swinging to one side and then the other before the car finally straightened. But just ahead of her was Cooter's blue and white tow truck turned across the road and the mechanic giving her the dirtiest look she'd ever seen from him.

"Cooter!!" MaryAnne exclaimed, certainly not wanting a road block and having only a few seconds to figure how to get around it. She gripped the steering wheel.

"General, please help me. You know I did what I did to help you and them boys." She aimed the General at the dip that was on the right side of the road and stepped on the accelerator.

Now, you do all remember what happened when Rosco tried to jump General Lee in the middle of a road like this don't you? I don't know about y'all, but I'm prayin' for MaryAnne right now.

General Lee hit the dip and the front end shot up into the air. The car leapt off the ground and sailed over the tow chains on the back of Cooter's truck. Cooter looked up at the car and saw the driver was wearing one of the boy's racing helmets, shielding their identity. The General cleared the tow truck and Cooter turned to watch out the passenger window as the car landed.

Luke brought the Jeep to a stop to avoid colliding with the tow truck. Jesse brought his pick up to a stop as well.

MaryAnne kept driving for a bit but when she saw that the tow truck nor any of the other vehicles were coming after her, she stopped the General and waited.

"Hey, hey check it out," Cooter said after the boys had got out of the Jeep and walked over to the truck. They looked up the road and saw the General just sitting in the middle of it.

"What the devil is he doing?" Luke wondered. All the Dukes were standing by the hood of Cooter's truck, watching the General.

And MaryAnne was watching them.

"Maybe they got hurt when they landed?" Bo suggested.

"Well, let's go see," Luke said. He and Bo walked around Cooter's truck and started to approach the General.

"You boys be careful," Jesse called.

Luke waved his hand in the air, acknowledging that they had heard. He and Bo marched on to the General, where MaryAnne was carefully watching them. She let them come within a few feet of the General before she pushed down on the accelerator and the General sped forward a bit.

The boys stopped, thinking the car was going to take off. MaryAnne let the car roll a few feet before stopping again. The boys looked at each other and then suddenly Luke started running to the General. MaryAnne slammed the accelerator and the General kicked back dirt at Luke, who ran through the cloud of dust and then stopped when the Charger got away from him.

"Ding dang it!" Luke exclaimed, coughing.

Cooter had seen enough when he saw the General stop again. This teasing game was getting annoying so he started his tow truck and swung around and went after the General.

"Get your Jeep, Daisy and pick up the boys!" Jesse said over the roar of the truck. Bo and Luke stood and watched as the blue and white tow truck went speeding past them and after the General, which now took off.

"Finally!" MaryAnne said as she stepped on the accelerator. "Thaaaaank youuuuu, Cooter!"

Daisy slowed her Jeep down enough for the boys to jump aboard and then continued on down the road, with Jesse right behind them.

Now this has got to be the most unique car chase Hazzard's ever seen. But then again, nobody ever said life in Hazzard was without it's variety. But the chase was on again, yet MaryAnne still had a couple more cars to add to her parade, that of Rosco and Enos.

Enos was intently looking around the country side when he spotted a cloud of dust up on the ridge. He slowed down and watched, spotting the familiar orange paint job between the trees and bushes.

"General Lee!" he exclaimed. He watched as the parade of cars came down the hill and out on to the road just ahead of him. The deputy picked up his radio mike. "This is Enos calling the Sheriff. I found General Lee! And so did the Dukes!"

Rosco looked at his radio. "Oooh," he said and picked up the mike. "Where are you, Enos? Come back."

"I'm on Route 17, headin' towards town."

"Well, stay after 'em Enos! I'm on my way!" Rosco dropped the receiver on the seat beside him and swung the patrol car around.

MaryAnne smiled underneath the visor when she heard the two officers on the radio. She kept her foot on the accelerator of the General and kept on heading to town.

Rosco managed to catch up to the parade of cars and came out on to Route 17, ahead of MaryAnne and the General. The General was too close behind for Rosco to swing his patrol car sideways and block the road. Unless maybe he wanted to be T-boned.

"What the heck are Rosco and Enos doing?" Bo wondered.

"Maybe they're helping us," Luke replied.

"Well, Enos sure. But Rosco?" Bo said.

The Dukes watched as General Lee kept trying to pass the Plymouth. Rosco was doing pretty good at slowing MaryAnne up. As much as MaryAnne wanted everyone to follow her to town, she didn't want to get caught.

"This is ain't no time to be parkin', Rosco!" MaryAnne cut the General to one side, then to the other trying to get the jump on Rosco and get past him. But the Sheriff was holding his cousin off pretty well, leaving MaryAnne to have to resort to drastic measures.

MaryAnne lined the General up directly behind Rosco. After they came out of the turn in the road, she floored the accelerator.

"Doh-ho!" Rosco exclaimed when the patrol car was suddenly pushed. The Plymouth pulled to the left side a bit, leaving just enough room for MaryAnne to snake the General around on the right. Rosco glanced out the passenger window as the driver of the General came into view.

He saw they were wearing the orange racing helmet with the black visor, which was down and making any identification nearly impossible. The driver, however, turned their head toward Rosco and waved a hand before pulling ahead of the patrol car. A hand, Rosco noticed, that looked very feminine.

Rosco watched as the General took off down the road ahead of him, a little shocked at the driver having waved to him.

That little wave is gonna start the gears turning in Rosco's head and he's gonna start thinkin' that a certain somebody's got the General. The only reason you can't see the gears spinnin' now is because they're so small, and tho' Rosco don't suspect MaryAnne yet, he will soon enough.

Just before the parade of cars got into town, the two would be recipients of General Lee caught up. MaryAnne didn't recognize the car but figured it was them. Which was perfect for her.

"Goody goody gum drops! Now everybody can see ya General!"

Boss was sitting in his office when he heard the familiar automobile battle cry of General Lee. He sprung up from his chair and went over to his open window in time to see the General go flying by followed by Cooter, Rosco, the Dukes and Enos. Boss also recognized the car of his two business associates.

"What the devil is goin' on?" Boss wondered aloud. He hurried away from the window and ran out of his office and through the booking room. He came out on to the courthouse steps in time to see the General come around again. The Dodge squealed on to Main St. while Rosco and Enos cut down past the bank to swing around the back of the courthouse and maybe block the General from making another pass. The Dukes, Cooter and the two crooks continued after the General.

Before General Lee finished coming around the turn, MaryAnne was looking up the road. She saw Rosco and Enos come around the courthouse, Enos turning his patrol car to block the road that went to Cooter's while Rosco turned in front of the courthouse and blocked that road.

"Oh Rosco, what didja go an' do that for?" MaryAnne exclaimed. She had no room to get by Enos, and only half a car width to get by Rosco. The worse she was going to have to do was push her cousin out of the way.

"Uh, General? Go easy on ol' Rosco. He is my cousin after all!"

General Lee seemed to have a different idea in mind. MaryAnne misjudged her distance from the curb as she headed towards the front of Rosco's patrol car that faced the square. She felt the bump as the right side of the car hit the granite walk and she found herself tipped to the left side, riding on two wheels.

"Doh! General!" MaryAnne exclaimed.

Rosco watched in awe as the General started to go by him, showing Rebel flag in full view.

Friends and neighbors, if the General tips too far, MaryAnne's gonna have a lot of explaining to do!

"Jit jit!" Rosco exclaimed and then held his breath waiting for the car to pass. It did without incident, and left Rosco enough time to catch his breath before Cooter's tow truck came to a squealing stop mere inches from the fender of the patrol car.

MaryAnne was still up on two wheels.

"Down General! Down! Four wheels, please!!"

MaryAnne lightly hit the brake and turned the wheel opposite the way the General was tipped. The car wobbled and finally slammed back down to all fours. MaryAnne glanced at the collection of cars that were on the other side of Rosco's patrol car. She figured everyone had seen enough, so she floored the accelerator and tore out of the square.

"Ah!" Boss exclaimed and then ran over to Rosco's patrol car just as the Sheriff was stepping out. "Rosco, you doe-doe! You were supposed to stop that car!"

"Well, what do you think I was trying to do! Did you see that?! They had it right up on two wheels! Just like them Dukes sometimes do. I thought it was gonna tip onto the hood of my patrol. Big orange hood ornament."

"It probably was one of them Dukes!"

Rosco shook his head. "No. They're all right there. And so is Cooter." Rosco looked over at the Dukes and Cooter. "And there's them two you were gonna give the General too."

"Rosco hush," Boss hissed, grabbing Rosco by the arm. The Dukes saw the two strangers and were about to approach Boss when the two men did.

"Not cute, Hogg."

"Listen fellas, I don't know what's going on. I don't know who got that car!"

"Well, you better find out and get that car back. OR ELSE!" The man jabbed his index finger into Boss's shoulder as he spoke his last words. Both men then turned and walked back to their car.

"Oooh, I think they're serious, Boss," Rosco said.

"You think huh? Well, I think you should THINK a little harder and figure out how you're gonna get that orange clunker car back!"

"Me?! Why's it always gotta be me?"

"Cuz you're the Sheriff!"

"Jit jit."

"Alright, now get this car of yours out of the road here..."

Rosco got back into his patrol and turned it to park it across from the courthouse. The Dukes and Cooter, meanwhile, had gathered around Daisy's Jeep. They had seen the two men approach Boss and the Boss and Rosco have their hushed conference. Now, they watched as the Sheriff disappeared into the courthouse.

"That tears it," Jesse said. "We ain't no closer to figurin' out who took the General than we were this morning."

"Well, we know Boss doesn't have it," Luke said. "Or do them two fellas."

"Yeah, but who does have General Lee?" Daisy asked. "And what was the point with this run around?"

"I don't know," Luke said, "but we gotta find the General and get him back before Boss or them other two do."

"Yeah," Daisy agreed.

"Amen to that," Cooter said. "You can bet I'll continue to be on the look out too."

"We appreciate that Cooter," Bo said.

"Alright," Jesse said. "Bo, Luke, why don't you take Daisy's Jeep here and search for the General a little more. I'll take Daisy home and we'll try to get some chores done."

"Okay, Uncle Jesse," Luke said.

* * *

Rosco stepped out of the washroom and walked up to the booking desk. He glanced out the window on his way and saw all the Duke vehicles and Cooter's tow truck were gone. He then glanced at the telephone, remembering what MaryAnne had said to him about not wanting to be around while he and Boss were pulling their shuck and jive. Rosco lifted the receiver to his ear and waited for Maybelle to connect.

"Maybelle, could you connect me to the operator in Finchburg County please?"

Rosco figured to call MaryAnne and tell her she could come back home, seein' as he and Boss didn't have the General. Y'all realize what this could lead to don't you?

"MaryAnne's comin' to Finchburg?" the Finchburg County telephone operator, Dodie, said.

"Well, she should be there already," Rosco said. "You're tellin' me she ain't?"

"Not that I'm aware of. And you know that if that cousin of yours was here in town, I'd know! Rosco, we've been waitin' over a year for MaryAnne to come back to visit."

"Yeah, I know. Thing is, Dodie, she left here yesterday afternoon."

"Oh. Hmm, well, she could be out at Steve and Martha's place and probably stayed the night there."

"That's true." Rosco made a face, as if to say, "but still."

"Do you want me to tell her you called if I see her?"

"Would you please? I'd appreciated it."

"Sure thing, Rosco."

"Thanks, Dodie."

"You're welcome. Take it easy."

Rosco hung up the phone, the gears turning in his head again.

Now ol' Rosco's startin' to think that maybe MaryAnne not bein' in Finchburg and the General bein' stolen were connected because for once, he wasn't worried about her.

Rosco stood up from the stool and picked up his hat off the booking desk. He started for the doors of the booking room when Boss came out of his office.

"Rosco, what are you doing here still? I thought you were back out looking for the General?"

"I was just on my way out, Boss," Rosco said after he stopped and looked back at his brother-in-law.

"Who were you on the phone to?"

"Finchburg County."

"Did MaryAnne make it there okay?"

"Don't know. The telephone operator at least, hasn't seen her." He shrugged. "I'm sure she's fine tho'."

* * *

After looking for another 45 minutes for the General, Bo and Luke returned to the farm.

"No luck huh?" Daisy asked as they came in through the kitchen.

The boys both shook their heads.

"If they've got him hidden," Luke said, "he's hid real good."

"It doesn't make any sense," Bo said as he plopped down on the couch. "I mean, if Boss ain't got the General and them two other fellas don't, then who does? The tooth fairy?"

"You know," Jesse said as he came into the living room from the kitchen, "maybe whoever took the General took him for his own good. Maybe they learned of something J.D was going to do or these two fellas."

"Yeah, but who in Hazzard County would go this far for us?" Bo asked. "Except maybe Cooter. And we know it's not him because he's been chasin' after the General right with us."

"Maybe it's somebody trying to get back at Boss," Luke suggested.

"What if it's all just a prank?" Daisy asked.

Luke shook his head. "No, they made sure we followed them right to town. If it was just a prank, they would have just taken off after they jumped over Cooter's tow truck. I think they wanted to make sure that we all saw the General for some reason,
including Boss and them two fellas."

* * *

Cooter, meanwhile, walked out to the back of his garage. Immediately, he saw the old tarp bunched up on the ground in the spot where he had had a Dodge Charger that was painted up like General Lee parked. Cooter completely forgot what he was doing and ran back into his garage and straight for his CB set.

"Breaker one, breaker one, might be crazy but I ain't dumb, Crazy Cooter, any y'all Dukes home on the Hazzard net?"

Luke walked into the kitchen and picked up the CB mike. "You got Luke here, Cooter. What's up?"

"Listen y'all, it must be open season on orange Dodge Chargers. Y'all remember that duplicate General Lee I held on to from when Cale Yarborough was in town?"

Luke chuckled. "Yeah, what about it?"

"It's gone. Somebody swiped it right out from the back of the garage here."

"You're kiddin'?"

"Nope. I'm tellin' ya, there's something really weird goin' on around here. Either somebody's really infatuated with the paint scheme or they got somethin' planned that y'all may not like."

"Yeah, we were kinda starting to wonder that ourselves. Thanks for lettin' us know, Cooter. We'll catch up with ya later."

"Ten-four, Lukas. You know who to hollar to if you need any help."

"Thanks, Cooter. I'm gone."

Luke put the mike down and turned back to his family.

Well, while the Dukes were tryin' to make sense of all the recent events, them two fellas Boss was supposed to have the General for were gettin' a bit impatient and were startin' to think that Boss was shuckin' and jivin' them about not havin' the General. Hang on to your hats folks.

Boss found himself startled again when his office door opened and the two men entered.

"Wha-what?"

"We ain't goofin' around any more with this, Hogg," the tall man said. The gun in his hand emphasized his point. "We want that car and we want it now."

"I ain't got it!" Boss exclaimed. "If I did, I'd give it to you, you know that."

"I think you're jivin' us. So we're gonna take a little drive and your gonna make sure that Sheriff brings the car to us, especially if he wants to see you around after this."

"But--"

"Let's go," the man demanded and waved his gun. Boss found he had no choice and he got up from his desk and went with the two men.

MaryAnne, meanwhile, was standing behind the duplicate General Lee that she swiped from Cooter's listening to it run. One of the tail pipes was rattling but it didn't seem too bad. MaryAnne knew she didn't have the tools or the know how to tighten it, so the rattle would have to remain.

For those of you wonderin' where the real General Lee is, it's parked in the last place ol' Rosco would think to look for it.

His own barn.

MaryAnne stepped back to the driver window. Out of habit from driving the real General, she climbed in through the window, despite the doors on this car not being welded shut. She had the CB radio tuned to the police channel not expecting to hear much for traffic, other than Rosco and Enos still looking for the General Lee on orders from Boss. MaryAnne figured she could start thinking about the next phase of her plan, which she knew was going to require some help from the Dukes. But Boss's cryptic call for help changed all that.

"Rosco, you got your ears on? Over."

"Right here, Boss. No luck finding the Gen--uh that vee-hicle yet."

"Listen Rosco, you gotta find that car. It's a matter of life and death! Mine!"

"Boss, what are you talkin' about?"

The tall man took the CB mike from boss. "What he means is, if you don't find that car and bring it to us, you won't see the fat man again."

"Wait a minute!" Rosco exclaimed. "Neither me or Boss have that car. I don't know where it is!"

"Well then you better find it and bring it out to those deluxe accommodations the fat man here gave us while me and my partner were staying here in Hazzard. You have two hours!"

"That's not enough time!"

"That's all the time your getting! Otherwise you can say bye-bye to Hogg right now."

"Alright, alright, I'll find the car and bring it out to ya. But if you hurt one little remaining hair on my chubby buddy's bald head, I'm gonna find ya and throw ya in the clink! You hear me?"

"Yeah, we hear ya Sheriff," the man said, not fazed by Rosco's threat. "See you in two hours." The tall man put the CB mike down.

"Rosco don't know where that car is anymore than I do," Boss said. "You boys gotta believe me, we don't have that car."

"Somebody has that car," the man said. "I suppose if they're nice, they'll let the Sheriff have it to save your hide."

Well, MaryAnne sure didn't figure on this, but she knew she got the duplicate General just in time.

MaryAnne put the dupe General in gear and drove down the road, hoping to meet up with Rosco. Enos helped narrow down a meeting point when he called on the radio.

"Sheriff, I just heard Mr. Hogg on the radio. What's going on?"

"It's a long story, Enos. Just keep your eyes peeled for that dang General Lee."

"Yes sir. I ain't found the General, but I did find another car."

"Which one?"

"Maverick."

Rosco paused. The way Enos sounded, it seemed possible MaryAnne was in trouble somewhere too.

"Where, Enos?"

"Route 41. Just past the intersection with Garrison Road."

"I'm on my way,"

MaryAnne swung the dupe General around. "And so am I," she said softly.

Enos waited by the blue Firebird until Rosco arrived. The Sheriff's face reflected his distress as he got out of his patrol car. He had two hours to figure out how to get Boss out of trouble and now he had to make sure MaryAnne was okay too.

"Nothing looks out of place," Enos said as Rosco approached. "It doesn't look like it was forced off or anything."

Rosco nodded and went about inspecting the car. Maverick appeared unblemished. No scratches or dents on the paint, no skid marks on the ground behind the rear tires and none of the tires were flat.

"Maybe she's out of gas?" Enos wondered.

"She would have called on the CB," Rosco replied. "And if not one of us then Cooter." Rosco unclipped the key ring on his gun belt and separated out one. He opened the driver door and sat in the Firebird. When the engine turned over, he looked at Enos.

The deputy only shrugged. Rosco shut the car off and sat in thought for a moment.

"You okay, Sheriff?"

"I think I know who stole General Lee," he said softly.

"Who?" Enos squeaked.

Rosco looked at his deputy. "MaryAnne."

"MaryAnne? Sheriff, are you sure?"

"Well, let's just say I have a sneakin' suspicion." Rosco took his key back from the ignition and got out of Maverick. He and Enos walked up to the road.

"If I'm right, and we can find out where she is, we can get the General and I can get Boss back," Rosco said.

"But Sheriff, don't you think we oughta tell the Dukes? The General is their car after all."

"Enos, we ain't got time to tell them Dukes! Besides..." Rosco stopped when he heard the sound of a car approaching. Both he and Enos turned to look. The exhaust note was recognizable, although neither law man noticed the rattling noise.

"There's the General!" Enos exclaimed.

Carefully, Rosco withdrew his gun.

"Sheriff! I thought you said MaryAnne's got the General?"

"I said I THINK she's got it. I don't know for sure!"

MaryAnne saw Rosco standing in the road with his pearl handled pistol pointed straight at her but she kept on towards him and Enos.

MaryAnne's hoping Rosco would wait and ask questions first. Then shoot later.

Then she was close enough, she turned the dupe General to the side and brought the car to a sliding stop, the big 01 on the driver door facing Hazzard's finest.

"Sheriff, don't shoot! It's MaryAnne!" Enos exclaimed, grabbing Rosco's shooting arm.

Rosco dropped his aim and put his gun back in the holster. He and Enos approached the dupe General as MaryAnne climbed out the window.

"I figured it might have been you," Rosco said. "When I called over to Finchburg and Dodie said she hadn't seen you, I started to wonder."

"Rosco, I'm sorry, but I had to do this."

"To stop me and Boss from taking the General?"

"Yeah. But also to stop you and Boss from being killed."

"A lot of good that did!" Rosco said. "Now them two fellas have got Boss and I gotta take this car to them to get him back."

"I know, I heard it on the radio that's why I'm here. Rosco, I didn't intend on something like this happening--"

"MaryAnne, just give me the car. We can apologize later." Rosco stepped towards the dupe General and started to climb into the car when MaryAnne grabbed his arm.

"Rosco, there may not be a later! Listen to me! I over heard them two fellas talkin' at the Boar's Nest. As soon as you and Boss were to give them this car they were gonna kill you. They may still kill the both of you if you take this car to them!"

"But, I gotta get my little fat buddy back," Rosco said, his eyes looking at her sadly. "MaryAnne, I know you don't like Boss Hogg, but I do. He's my friend and I'm gonna get him back."

"Rosco, I don't want to see Boss die any more than you do. Let me and Enos here go with you and we can figure how to get him back with out the both of ya gettin' killed."

Rosco shook his head. "No. I gotta do this myself." He continued into the dupe General and started the car.

"Rosco, please."

MaryAnne's cousin said nothing more and didn't even look at her before he drove away. MaryAnne threw her hands up as the car roared off down the road. She then turned to Enos.

"Enos, we gotta go after him!"

Enos nodded as MaryAnne started down the embankment to Maverick. "Shouldn't we tell the Dukes too?"

"Yes!" she called back. She stopped before getting into the Firebird and turned back to Enos. "I'll call them on the CB."

"Okay!" Enos ran to his patrol car and jumped in as the blue Firebird roared out of the ditch and climbed back up onto the road.

* * *

After helping Uncle Jesse with loading some bales of hay into his pickup truck, Bo and Luke decided to take Daisy's Jeep and look for the General Lee once again. They had no more than driven off the farm when MaryAnne's voice came over the airwaves.

"This is MaryAnne Coltrane callin' any Dukes out there who are listenin'. I gotta confession to make and I need y'all's help."

With Bo driving the Jeep, Luke picked up the CB mike. "You got Luke Duke here, MaryAnne. I thought you were in Finchburg County?"

"I was shuckin' and jivin' everyone. I've been here in Hazzard the whole time with an old friend of y'all's."

"Who?"

"General Lee. I'm the one that stole him. But I did it for a good reason! I did it to try to help y'all and to save Boss and Rosco's hides. But now Boss is in trouble and Rosco just took off with the duplicate General that I also swiped from behind Cooter's. He thinks he's gonna be able to exchange Boss for it. The real General Lee is safe and sound I can tell ya where he is, but fellas, I need your help."

"Where's the General, MaryAnne?"

"He's in our barn." She paused. "I understand if you don't want to help and I wouldn't blame ya. But just remember, I didn't steal General Lee to do anything against y'all, you know I wouldn't do that. I didn't want to see you boys lose the General or for Jesse to lose the farm AND I didn't want to see Rosco and Boss to lose their lives. That's what would have happened as soon as them two fellas would have got the General. They were gonna kill Boss and Rosco."

"MaryAnne, are you sure about that?" Luke asked.

"I overheard 'em talkin' at the Boar's Nest. Thing is, now they've kidnapped Boss and are forcing Rosco to bring the General to them to supposedly get Boss back. The General Rosco has is the duplicate one tho', and I'm afraid as soon as Rosco shows up with it, he and Boss will be finished."

"Where are you now, MaryAnne?"

"Me and Enos are following after him a distance. We're on Route 41, heading west."

"Okay. As soon as we get the General we'll be out to give ya a hand."

"Thanks fellas. I'm gonna owe you big time for this, I know. I'm gone."

What MaryAnne didn't realize was that she had done somethin' that the Dukes felt they were gonna have to owe her for.

"Uncle Jesse was right," Bo said.

"Yup," Luke replied and then looked at his cousin with a smile. "Ain't he always?"

Well the boys found the General unscathed in the Coltrane barn. After callin' Uncle Jesse and Daisy and Cooter on the CB they headed out to help MaryAnne.

Rosco, meanwhile, was about to arrive at the exchange location.

MaryAnne and Enos held back a safe distance when they saw Rosco turn up a road that led to an old hunting cabin that Boss foreclosed on. They stopped by the side of the road and anxiously waited.

Rosco negotiated the dupe General through the turns and arrived at the cabin. He no more than grabbed a hold of the roof of the car to start to pull himself out when a voice spoke from the cabin.

"Hold it, Sheriff! Take your gun out and put it on the roof of the car."

Rosco did as he was told, sliding his pearl handled pistol across the Confederate flag on the roof of the dupe General. It came to a stop near the center star on the Southern Cross.

Rosco watched the cabin to see if what he had done was acceptable. It appeared to be, because the front door of the cabin opened and out came the two crooks and Boss. They quickly hustled Boss to the dupe General and showed him into the back seat head first.

"Aaaahhh!"

"Hey!" Rosco said. "Don't you go scuffin' my little fat buddy."

"Shut up!" the taller of the two crooks gruffed as he slid into the passenger seat of the General. His partner was in back with Boss, keeping an eye on the white suited man.

"Yeah Rosco, shut up," Boss said. "This is all your fault you know."

"My fault?"

"Yeah. If you had caught this orange clunker car earlier this wouldn't be happening.

"Well, I've got it now don't I?"

"Alright, the both of ya just shut up!" the man in the passenger seat said. He waved Rosco's gun in the air and looked at the Sheriff. "You're gonna drive where I tell you to drive and it's gonna be a nice quiet, desolate spot so we can finish you two turkeys off."

"Now wait just a pea pickin' minute here. I'm the Sheriff--"

The man poked the gun in Rosco's side and pulled the safety back. "Just shut up and drive!"

"Jit jit!" Rosco put the dupe General in gear and started to drive back down the road. "I'll take ya anywhere ya wanna go..."

MaryAnne and Enos watched as the dupe General came back down the hill and on to Route 41. It turned in the direction away from where Maverick and the patrol car were parked.

MaryAnne picked up the mike. "They've got both Boss and Rosco, Enos. I knew this was gonna happen."

"They'll be alright, MaryAnne," Enos said. "We'll get them back."

The patrol car and Firebird began to follow after Rosco.

The real General Lee, with Bo and Luke was cutting across a field to get over to Route 41. While Jesse and Daisy were catching up after stopping at the Coltrane house for Daisy to pick up her Jeep, the boys made it to Route 41 and came out a mile ahead of Rosco.

Rosco still had his own pistol poked into his side as he drove. He hadn't noticed that MaryAnne and Enos were behind him yet, he being too afraid that if he took his eyes off the road for a second the passenger wouldn't like it. But when he saw General Lee barreling towards him he wondered if maybe he should have averted his eyes for just a moment.

"Jit jit."

The passenger saw it too. "Who the heck is that?"

In the real General Lee, the boys saw who they were heading towards.

"There he is, Bo," Luke said.

The passenger in the dupe General couldn't believe what he was seeing. "That car's the same as this one!"

Bo cut the General to the side and went zooming past Rosco in the dupe. The real General then swung around and started chasing after it's twin.

"Rosco!" Boss exclaimed. "I thought THIS was General Lee?"

"Well, Boss, how do you expect me to know one General Lee from another?"

"Rosco, if this ain't the real General Lee we're sittin' in..."

"I don't think it's gonna make any difference WHAT General Lee we're sittin' in, Boss!"

"Will you two shut up!" The passenger looked at Rosco. "Lose them, or else we stop the car and I waste the both of you in front of all your friends."

Rosco responded only by stepping on the accelerator.

MaryAnne saw the boys when they turned around and went after the twin General. She grabbed the CB mike.

"It's the boys, Enos! Now we're gonna get 'em!"

Maverick took off a little ahead of the patrol car and started coming up behind the boys in the General.

"There's MaryAnne," Bo said looking in the side mirror.

"Yup," Luke said. He picked up the mike. "MaryAnne, any idea if these guys are armed?"

"I'm assuming they are," she said. "If not with their own gun they've got Rosco's."

"Alright, here's what we've gonna do..."

In the dupe General, the two men were watchin' out the back window. "There's another car," the man in back said. "Blue car."

Rosco glanced in his side mirror and saw Maverick in the distance behind the General Lee. He then looked at the rearview mirror at Boss.

Boss caught his brother-in-law's glance. The question being silently asked was, "Can ya bamboozle the guy beside ya?"

Boss gave a slight nod and then gestured with his eyes towards the passenger, as if to ask, "What about him?"

Rosco made a face, a silent reply of, "I'll do what I can."

The passenger caught sight of Boss giving another nod. He immediately sensed something was up and looked at Rosco.

"Alright what are you two up to?"

"Not a thing," Boss said.

"Yeah, I'm just drivin' the car," Rosco replied.

"I don't buy it."

"Hey that blue car's coming around," the man in the back seat said.

The passenger looked up and saw the Firebird come tearing around the Charger.

"You better lose them!" he ordered.

"Oh you'll never lose them Duke boys," Boss said. "Rosco and I have been tryin' to for YEARS."

"What about the guy in the blue car?"

"Girl," Rosco corrected. "And no, you can't lose her either."

"Well, you better make an exception this time," the passenger said. "Or else."

"I think we can make an exception, Rosco," Boss said.

Rosco looked in the rearview mirror momentarily at Boss. "Sure," he said. "No problem." Suddenly Rosco cut the wheel to the left and sent the twin General off the road and into a field. He missed clipping Maverick by mere inches.

MaryAnne and the Dukes were completely caught off guard with the sudden change in course of the dupe General. The boys were able to follow after Rosco, but MaryAnne had to swing Maverick around up the road a bit and come back, turning off the road behind Enos. The unannounced turn by Rosco gave Boss his opportunity. The passenger and his partner were momentarily fazed by the jerking movement of the dupe General. Boss grabbed a hold of the partner's arm that had a gun and pried it out of the man's grip.

"Ah!!"

"Heh heh," Boss said. "How's that for an exception?"

Rosco jumped on his opportunity as well. While the passenger was watchin' the struggle in the back seat, Rosco karate chopped his right hand into the man's upper arm. The pearl handled pistol dropped on to the seat. Rosco grabbed it but the man also tried to get it back.

"Give it to me!"

"I don't think so!" Rosco replied. He momentarily took his left hand off the steering wheel to get a better fight for the gun. He yanked it away from the man just as Boss yelled out.

"Rosco, look out!"

The Sheriff looked up in time to see the mound of earth they were heading straight for.

"DOH!!" he exclaimed. He grabbed the steering wheel in a futile effort to save the car.

MaryAnne watched in horror as the dupe General turned slightly and the left side of the car was forced off the ground by the earth. The Charger leapt into the air and then fell first on the right side corner of it's nose. The tail end flew forward and then the car slammed down finally on it's roof.

"Oh my Lord! Rosco!!" MaryAnne cried.

The real General Lee, Enos's patrol car and Maverick quickly surrounded the damaged twin General. MaryAnne leapt out of Maverick and ran around to the driver side of the car, with the boys and Enos coming up behind her.

"Holy smokes," Luke breathed as Rosco started to climb out of the driver window.

"Oh Rosco, Boss are you okay?" MaryAnne asked as she helped her cousin out of the car.

"Ooh, what a horrendous crash..." Rosco was saying.

"We've got Boss over here, MaryAnne," Luke called.

"Oh man..." Boss said as the boys assisted the county commissioner out of the car. Once everyone was out standing, and Enos was in control of the two bad guys, Luke smiled.

"Ain't no ride at the fairgrounds as excitin' as Rosco's driving eh Boss?" Luke asked.

"Ha!" Boss said. "All of this is that knuckle head's fault!"

"Oh now Boss, you can't go blamin' Rosco," Bo said. "He was tryin' to save your life. That oughta be worth something?"

"That's right, Boss," MaryAnne said, still hanging on to her cousin's arm. "Rosco's not to blame for this. If you wanna blame someone for all of this you can blame me. I'm the one that stole the General Lee. Both General Lees."

"You did?" Boss said.

"I did. I tried to do it to keep you and Rosco out of serious trouble, but I don't know if it did any good. I didn't think they'd kidnap you, Boss."

"Thing is, MaryAnne," Luke said. "They're alive and me and Bo got the General back safe and sound. Seems to me what you set out to do, got accomplished."

MaryAnne smiled a bit. "Yeah, I guess it did."

Well, it took some more explainin' from MaryAnne later before Boss fully understood why she stole General Lee. Although the Dukes knew that Boss originally wanted to get the car MaryAnne didn't let Boss know that they knew that.

MaryAnne apologized so many times to the Dukes about takin' the General, they told her they'd call Rosco and have her arrested for disturbin' the peace if she said 'I'm sorry' one more time.

"MaryAnne," Jesse said. "You took General Lee for his own good. We ain't holdin' it against you for helpin' us. Instead of you apologizing, we should be thankin' you."

"That's right," Daisy said, as she propped her elbow up on the back rest of the couch in the middle of the Duke living room.

"And we do thank you," Luke said. He then chuckled. "But I think next time you could tell us first."

MaryAnne gave a self conscious smile. "Yeah, I'll try to remember that. Assuming I ever have to do this again!"

The Dukes laughed.

Later, MaryAnne returned to town and apologized to Rosco a few more times.

"I am sorry," she said. "I mean that."

"It's alright," Rosco said. "But why didn't you just tell me that you over heard them two talkin' at the Boar's Nest?"

"Well, I thought that if I did, and you and Boss didn't go through with gettin' the General, that them two would have still tried to pull something. The only thing I could think to do to buy some time was steal General Lee."

"Two General Lees."

MaryAnne made a face. "Doh...thanks for reminding me."

Rosco giggled.

"Even tho' everything worked out," MaryAnne continued. "You are not off the hook."

Rosco's smile faded and he looked at her seriously. "MaryAnne, I don't think I'll ever be off the hook."

"Yes you will," she said. "Someday, you will."

The two cousins eye's met and then MaryAnne smiled. Without another word, she turned and walked out of the booking room. Rosco watched her go and wondered just when the 'someday' will be.

Friends and neighbors, you can bet when that day comes, it'll probably be the hardest day of Rosco's life.

 

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